Official Dodian 'Language/Performing Arts' Comp. VOTING!

[Arsenal]

Hello Dodian Users!

I am Arsenal94 and finally, me and Wiz have elected the top 4!!
Ourfour finalists are:
Great Lakes4,
Yimi167,// DISQUALIFIED!
Lilfishy6,
Xenthosapien

Congratulations to our finalists!
Me and Wiz also would like to give and honorable shoutout to Heavenangel8.
Since Wiz did not agree with my opinion about your poem, we both agreed that you will not be in the top 4 but we decided to give you a honorable mention. Thank you for your poem.

Now for the business.
Over the past 2months? You have been posting your entries. The more entries that came, the harder it got for me and Wiz to decide. But we have finally picked out our top four!

Here's how it's going to go down.
Me and Wiz have posted our scores/opinions on the finalists and will be shown throughout the first page of this post. Once you have read the finalists entries, you will then vote on who you think should win. After a week of the poll being up, we will count the votes, and the person with the most votes, WILL WIN! You will most likely recieve a prize but eh amount of it is still un-known.
REMEMBER! This is the only L.P.A.Comp. That will be done so please, chose carefully and don't rush.

Now for the entries!
(All entries have been re-sized to fit the post.)

Great Lakes4:(Page 7)


1. What is the name of your entry?: -----Dreaming is inevitable-----<br />
2. What Genre is it?:Poem/Romantic<br />
3. Where is your entry located \? Link, Picture, Video, Etc.:Written below<br />
4. Is it just you in your Entry? Or is there anyone else involved? If so, please notify here.:I do my poems all by myself<br />
5. How much time did you put into creating this entry?:5 hours. Thinking good words is the way to go.<br />
6. You agree with all the rules stated above? :yes<br />
7. Additional Comments:Use my poem to ur gfs? <img src="http://dodian.com/beta/images/smilies/biggrin.gif" border="0" alt="" title="Big Grin" smilieid="3" class="inlineimg" /><br />
<br />
<font size="4">-------Dreaming is inevitable-------<br />
<br />
I wake up every night and day,<br />
Thinking about you through my mind just aching to see you light the way.<br />
<br />
Your beautiful face is heavenly to see,<br />
I’m so speechless what more could I be.<br />
<br />
Every moment in life I spend with you,<br />
Brightens my day thinking what could go wrong if only you knew.<br />
<br />
My hearts beats rapidly every time I hear or say your name,<br />
I’d post pictures of your pretty face in every frame.<br />
<br />
Before I go to sleep my mind just sets on you,<br />
Dreaming that I can hold your hands kissing you on this cloud that’s blue .<br />
<br />
Fading away into the darkness we part,<br />
I’ll never forget every moment we spent together, for it will always stay within my heart.</font><br />
<br />


Lilfishy:(Page 6)
1. What is the name of your entry?: In The Stars<br />
2. What Genre is it?: Poem<br />
3. Where is your entry located \? Link, Picture, Video, Etc.: Below<br />
4. Is it just you in your Entry? Or is there anyone else invovled? If so, please notify here.: Only me<br />
5. How much time did you put into creating this entry?: 3 hours. It was so emotional.<br />
6. You agree with all the rules stated above? : Yes<br />
<b>7. Additional Comments: This is about my grandpa who passed away.<br />
8. Other: I miss him so much. We made a star for him, and when ever I look into the star, right next to the moon, and the biggest one there. I see my grandpas face looking back at me. One year before I was born, my grandpa got a stroke, and couldnt talk ever again. I never heard him talk to me, but in his hugs, and in his expressions of love towards me, that was his talking. I loved him so much, and when i was 5, he passed away.
You are in the stars. By David/lilfishy.
I look up every night, into the stars, and I see you
I wake up in the morning, and you are gone.
I go to school always looking for you.
But yet I dont see you.
I come home from school, hoping that you will be there.
But I do not see you.<br />
I go into my bed at night, but first look up at the stars.
And there you are looking back at me.

Thankyou for reading, and I hope someone worthy of winning wins.

~lilfishy~


Xenthosapien (Page 10)
On next page.

[Arsenal]

1. Name of Entry - The Guardian of Prosperity
2. Genre - Historical Fiction Short Story
3. Where is entry - Below
4. Is it just you? - Yes, my own work
5. Time put into the work - 1 month
6. Do I agree with all the rules stated above? - Yes
7. Additional Comments - This story is a recreation of life in a Jewish Concentration Camp of World War II. Oh, and near the middle of the story, those aren't misspellings, they are German words, u can translate them if you'd like. Hope you guys enjoy.
8. Other -

The Guardian of Prosperity

Edvárd was what my father had named me. The guardian of prosperity was its ancient meaning. That was the tradition in our family, from generation to generation. Our family has provided our little city with some forms of protection. My father was a member of the Hungarian police. I was destined to follow in my father’s footprints. From a tender age, I was drilled. Not only physically, but most importantly, in ethics.

“You must protect the innocent, Edvárd…”

“You must perform your duty, Edvárd…”

“You must believe in what is right, Edvárd…”

That last message was said to me with my father’s final breath. That day, I still remember clearly. As clear as if it had occurred yesterday…

It was on the eve of Hanukkah when I was selected into the Hungarian police force. How happy I had been! I remember my father and my mother, rejoiced… eyes gleaming like crystals in the sunlight. The heated room, warmly burning with candles. The beautifully decorated walls, appealing with shades of crimson and gold. The powerful scents of parsley and roses, filling the air. My heart glowed with joy and honor. Together, our family celebrated, smiled, forever bound together by love.

I remember that very night. I prayed. I remember not for how long I knelt before my bed. I sent a thousand thanks to God. Ever grateful for this event. Ever joyful for this feeling. This trust. This love.

I awoke to the steady pattering of rain on my window. A knock on the door. I paid no heed. Nothing could spoil my mood. The knocking crescendoed. A pounding. A barrage of knocks. That was where it all started.

I felt the warm cloak vanish around me as I rose, suddenly frozen. I crept down the stairs. The fire in the stove had died out. Every step felt cold beneath my feet. There in our kitchen was a troop of German officers and my father. They stood straight, rifles in hand, brows furrowed. Death itself seemed to have entered.

My father and I were ordered to the ghetto. As we walked, the rain feProxy-Connection: keep-alive
Cache-Control: max-age=0

harder. Thunder rumbled in the distance. The smell of corpses hit me first through the fog. Its stench lodged my nose, choked my throat, and stung my eyes. The fog parted as we advanced. Silhouettes appeared. Slowly the image before us unveiled… People littered the streets. Some alive, most dead. A mother with her crying baby, sitting still. Her face was streaked. With rain or tears I do not know. My father trudged forward. I opened my mouth to plead. That was when I saw his eyes. His eyes were darkened. Carrying a deep look. A sorrowful look. A confused look. I did not understand.

We came to a halt at the common. A German officer came up and handed my father a rifle. Everything became clear to me. Ahead was line upon line of civilians, standing with hunched backs. Water droplets rolled off the tips of their noses. Beyond I heard the wailing of a baby. Then a crack of lightning. The final judgment.

"Go on dispose of these Jewish scum."

I looked at my father. No. We couldn't...

"Go on...just pull the trigger. That's an order."

I stared at my father. These people. They've done nothing.

My father dropped the rifle. The clatter of it on the road echoed.

"No, I can't..."

The Germans were stunned. Silence followed. Just the sound of the rain pattering the ground.

The Germans lurched.

"Du spinnst!" A heavy blow landed on my father's chest.

Amidst the sudden gasps from the prisoners, my father rose.

"Saukerl!" The butt of a rifle hit my father's face.

Inch by inch my father rose. Hair matted, blood dripping, muscles shaking.

"Dummkopf! " My father collapsed. He remained still. I stood stunned. Not knowing what to feel. I trembled. No.

"Dispose of this traitor."

The Germans left. My father was left there lying on the dirt filled street. He was left there with the beggars. The trash pickers. No better. No worse.
I made a movement. My body refused. Why? He's my father. He was a policeman. He was the protector of the innocent. No. He cannot be dead. God would not allow it. I walked home.

That night, I was home. The fire felt less warm. The love felt less loving. Lying in bed I stared at the ceiling. Half-expecting my father to enter my room to give me the nightly kiss on my forehead. Seconds passed. Those seconds became minutes. Minutes became hours. No one entered.
Tears welled up. Father wasn't coming. What was I to believe he would? He was dead. Killed. Murdered.

I remember thinking about my name. Guardian of prosperity...the irony. The cruelty. How am I able to follow orders and still help others? I was torn. Torn between duty and responsibility.

I began to pray to God. Stopped. He had allowed my father to die. I owe God not my loyalty. He was the traitor. He betrayed me. He took from me something that will never be repaid.

It was then a revelation hit me. At first I refused to accept it. I cursed at God. Blamed him for my loss.

After my frustrations were exhausted, I let out a final groan. Tears that have been held behind the walls of my eyelids streamed out. My mind opened. I realized what I had denied...my father had died for a cause. He had done what was right. My father had seen this coming. He could not stay with me forever. He left me with the greatest of lessons. It is now my responsibility to do the same. He must not die in vain.

The guardian of prosperity. I smiled. On the horizon, the sun poked out. The tears on my cheeks glistened. Tears of joy. This was how God had meant life to be. My father, so far apart yet never so close. The start of a new day. A day to fulfill my responsibility.


- Xenthosapien


(this is a retrial of format to better show paragraphs)

So what do you do now?
Now you will vote for who you think, should be crowned Dodian's MOST LITERATE! =P

The first page will be reserved for mine and Wiz's votes. We will have our marks on the finalists work and we will rate them out of 300. We will be marking them for, Spelling, Grammar, Puntuation, Flow, Structure(For poems this is taken out but 25 more points are added to the flow and meaning for poems) and meaning. We then will give an overall opinion and then the score.

VOTING WILL END ON THE 8TH OF OCTOBER, GMT+10(SYDNEY) TIME!

All entries can be found at:
http://dodian.com/forums/showthread.php?t=24785

So please Dodian users. Pick wisely and GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE!

[Arsenal]

Wiz's scores/opinions.

Great Lakes 4
Grammar: I liked your use of words like "heavenly", "darkness", and your description of the cloud that's blue. Some parts though to me didn't make much grammatical sense such as "I’d post pictures of your pretty face in every frame" I mean, how do you POST pictures into a picture frame? usually you FRAME pictures, not POST them like on a telephone pole. and the use of the word "pretty"...come on, there's better words to use than that to describe her (or his o.o) face.
40/50
Spelling: Very few spelling mistakes that I noticed. But overall do not distract the reader from the meaning or from the flow of the poem.
50/50
Puncuation: Excellent puncuation. Little mistakes like a few extra spaces but nothing big.
49/50
Flow: The flow of this poem I thought was very well presented. You started out with your title "Dreaming is inevitable" which is really, inevitable. Then your poem sort of took the flow of a calm river caressing over the rocks...then turning into a turbulent, white-water rapid. This is not a bad thing however as I believe that the flow of your poem is probably the strongest thing about it as it starts out kind of calm and sweet, but as it goes towards the end it turns into this sort of "darkness" that you described that you where fading into a "darkness" that seems very turbulent that try's to deter you from the person that you wish to be with. Good job.
75/75
Meaning: I bow to you in virtual form as you are one of the few people that I have read poetry from that can present the meaning of their poem in a deep yet simple way. The meaning of your poem has personally had an effect on me because before I finally had the courage to ask Heather out, I was scared to death that I would lose her in that same "darkness" that you described as you where fading farther and farther apart. Lucky for me, I was able to grab Heather before she vanished into that darkness forever and I would be spending my days thinking "Why didn't I have the courage to ask her out?" and regretting the decision of not asking her for the rest of my life. It is an outstanding accomplishment you have achieved here with your meaning.
75/75
Overall, There are no words that I can use to describe to sum up your poem except for moving, touching, and most important of all, meaningful.
289/300

YIMI67 IS A N I G G E R AND I REFUSE TO POST MY JUDGEMENT OF HIS PIECE OF **** SONG. JHE DOES NOT DESERVE TO WIN AND IF ANYONE VOTES FOR HIM I WILL HAVE ARSENAL EDIT HIS VOTES BACK TO ZERO.

Lilfishy
Grammar: Some of your words I believe could of been substituted with words that had a deeper meaning but this is somewhat of a simple poem so simple words such as what you used are ok for this. But in the futurem remember that even though simplicity is a good thing, it is a bad thing in others.
50/50
Spelling: I see no blaring problems with your spelling. A few little mistakes in it but does not distract the reader enough to be evident.
50/50
Puncuation: First sentence is missing a period and in the 4th stanza."Dont" doesn't have a comma before the n. Overall, still is pretty good.
46/50
flow: it's obvious that there is a certain flow to your poem. I read it and was able to understand it without getting confused or troubled at any one certain part except for the ending. I think you might of flaked off a bit at the ending with the "I go to bed every night, looking up at the stars," but I still understood what was going on and was able to follow the flow of the poem.
75/75
Structure: Since poems barely have a structure, they focus more on the flow and feeling. This is why we have chosen to leave this part out for poems.

Meaning: quite frankly, I don't believe there is a meaning to this poem. I don't see any sort of "message" that you are supposed to get from this except for maybe remember the loved ones that you've lost but that was plain obvious with the beginning of your poem. Messages/Meanings are supposed to be something on a deeper level, something that you must ****yze to notice firsthand but I did not see any sort of deeper message/meaning in your poem.
65/75
Overall:
When examining this poem for a 2nd time, I realize that the pain and sorrow of losing a loved one is one of the worst things people can go through. I lost my girlfriend of 4 years, Heather, to a drunk driver last year so I can relate to how you where feeling about losing your Grandfather to whatever happened to him. Your poem does great justice to those who have lost someone dear in their lives such as I and I appreciate what you have done in your writting. But now for the bad part, This was not one of the best poems I've read in fact, it is FAR from it. But don't think I'm sort of prick when I say this because I am just simply giving you some constructive critsisim to your writting and hopefully I am helping you become a better writter.
286/300 (Arsenal if it's out of 350 then edit to 350.)

Xenthosapien
Grammar: Your use of grammar is profounding and shocking to me as here I sat believeing that Dodian users where comeplete ****ing idiots...yet as I see now there are a few diamonds in this pile of coal. The way you use your words throughout the story reminds me of some of my favorite authors. Many kudos to you for making an example of how grammar should be used.
50/50
Spelling: Your spelling was definetely some of the best. few mistakes here and there but they do not detract from the overall feeling and emotion of the story.
49/50
Puncuation: Your puncuation is some of the best I've seen ever on here. Although there are a FEW mistakes with puncuation with a few extra spaces here and there, your's is definetely the best in puncuation.
49/50
Flow: How can I explain the flow? Amazing? Extroadinary? Outstanding? There are many words that I could use to explain the flow of your story and I could go on and on talking about how your flow is the best out of any of the poems and entries in this compeitition but I will only say one word to sum this up, Amazaextraordinaryastanding.
50/50
Structure: the structure of the story is without a doubt in all honesty great but I did notice a LITTLE bit of a structure problem because of the whole proxyConnection thing which kinda threw it off but nonetheless, you did an amazing job with structuring the story.
49/50
Meaning: A tale of a boy named Edvard and the horrors that he expereinces during the dark era of the Holocaust. The meaning of this story is one of the most profound things I've ever read from the title "The guardian of prospierty" down to the death of his father and the rejection of his God. A dark and cruel message to us all that things, such as the holocaust, are never to be forgotten and the people that suffered and where murderd by Nazi Germany are to never be forgotten in vain. What we have here is a foundation to what future writers on this site should look up to, I know I am.
50/50
Overall: For once, I am speechless.
298/300

(Xentho has my vote.)

[Arsenal]

Mine(Arsenal94's) Scores/opinions.

Xenthosapien

Spelling:
There was only one mistake that I fixed up and because it was so minor, I’m not even going to say what it was. =]
49/50
Grammar:
Me and Wiz are just shocked. Your use of words in your short story just blows our minds away. I honestly can’t find anyone on Dodian (besides me and Wiz XD) that can use words like you have. You manage to grab the moment by the neck, and give it a good shack so that every inch of meaning and every little bit of use can be made from the words.
49/50
Punctuation:
What can I say? Did I see any punctual mistakes? Barely. I’m so glad that someone can be bothered to correct their mistakes and make sure everything is correct. Thank you.
48/50
Flow:
At first the flow was wonky, but you managed to quickly grab it, and throw it back on track. I can’t say how much the flow works since I’d have to use every word known the Chuck Norris and trust me, that’s a lot of words. Your words are just elegant. It’s as if the words just spilled from the pen you used (example) and you didn’t look back. Your story just keeps going and doesn’t stop.
49/50
Structure:
The structure was good. I can’t say it was the best, but it certainly wasn’t bad. You need to work more on your structure since it was slowly bringing the story down. Try and make it work. I didn’t really enjoy the ending. Why? Because I wanted to see more. Just work on the layout of your stories a bit more and it’ll make it a lot better.
45/50
Meaning:
Wow. Just wow. Your meaning is so powerful, that it threw me off my feet, and I fell from the cloud’s themselves. I don’t need to say anything for this since Wiz says it beautifully and I couldn’t say it better myself. But I will say one thing. ABSOULUTLY UNFRICKEN REAL!
48/50

Overall, your story just blows me out of the water. I can’t praise it enough without seeing like a suck up. Your story filled me with joy, sorrow, pain, and many more emotions that I can’t even describe. Your story is one of the best stories I have read on the net but it isn’t quite the best. XD I would love to see more to the story and it would be an honor to write a story with you
288/300

Lilfishy
Spelling:
Your spelling was extremely well. I only picked up on one mistake. You did, 'dont,' instead of 'don't'. But that is more punctuation then spelling so it won’t affect this score. =]
50/50

Punctuation:
I only picked up on one mistake. You did, 'dont,' instead of 'don't'.
Try and avoid using to many commas and when (in a poem)
47/50

Grammar:
Your grammar wasn't too bad, but it wasn't the best. Some of your words were simple, whilst others had emotion, and feelings within them. Simplicity is never a bad thing, but using simple words as a short cut, can show the difference between a good and bad writer. You used your words pretty well. You used, 'stars' in your poem. Stars are generally used as hope and we generally look upon them for guidence or for the people we have lost. You used the word 'stars' and it gave more feeling and emotion to your poem. If you were to say, 'I imagined you,' it doesn't really sound good.
48/50

Structure:
Since poems barely have a structure, they focus more on the flow and feeling. This is why we have chosen to leave this part out for poems.

Flow:
Your "poem" doesn't really have a flow. Well it does but towards the end, you lose it. With, "I go into my bed at night, but first look up at the stars."
It could be changed to, "I go to bed every night, looking up at the stars,"
It gives it more of a flow rather then with what you had because yours, was a stop and start situation. Just try and manipulate your words better, and place them into better positions were it makes more sense and sounds a hell of a lot better.
Poems focus more on the flow and meaning rather then anything else so try and improve the flow next time.
63/75

Meaning:
Your poem has a very emotional side to it. From the first line, you can tell that this was written for someone and is about someone you truly love(d). The poem is aimed towards your grandfather(if I'm correct). You can truly tell that with the words used, you truly loved him and miss him every day. I can't let a meaning like this go without high marks.
73/75

Overall, your poem was good. I can not say that it was the best poem I have ever read, but it was certainly better then some of the poems I have read. Try and work on manipulating your words a bit more and how you structure your words and where you position them. Having words, phrases, etc, in different positions, can give the reader a different meaning/message then what was intended. I can also emphasise to the pain and sorrow you go are going through(and have gone through). I lost my step-brother four years ago in a motorbike accident.
281/300


Great Lakes4
Spelling:
No mistakes. What else can I say? Since I’m Australian, I will pick up on the mistakes on the way how we spell, but since the most of the entries are from America, I’ll let them be.
50/50
Punctuation:
There were only a few, very small, punctuation mistakes. Only a hawk’s eye could of picked them up( mine and Wiz’s eye XD), so it will only effect the score on a minor scale.
49/50
Grammar:
Your use of words is generally good. Some of your words have meaning, whilst others seem to be a waste of space. I think Wiz pretty much states out what is wrong with your grammar so I can’t say much more about it.
43/50
Structure:
Since poems barely have a structure, they focus more on the flow and feeling. This is why we have chosen to leave this part out for poems.

Flow:
Flow, Flow, Flow. I see it. Your poem manages to grab hold of the words and gradually release them in a calm, soothing flow. You don’t go over the top and you don’t fall short with your flow. It manages to keep going without having to stop or start, like a car stalling. You control the flow very well and I congratulate on this.
72/75

Meaning:
Your poem has a detailed meaning. It is about someone you love or miss. The meaning within this poem is very powerful and just leaps out of the screen and punches you in the face. It shows us how much love you can have for someone, how much you can miss someone and only so many words can have a powerful meaning to them. Your poem manages to have a powerful meaning with nearly every single word that is used.
70/75

Overall, your poem is great. It has emotion, feeling, and a flow! What else can I say? Your poem manages to rise above the rest, as if it is saying “Bow down to me! I am your God!” and this is what is making it a great poem. I certainly enjoyed reading it. Work on your meaning a bit more and try to use better words then some that you have used. Other then that, GREAT!
284/300

Xenthosapien has my vote as well. His story is just pure brilliance and I never once thought that here, on Dodian, we had someone that had such a talent.

[Arsenal]

Reserved for me and Wiz!!!!!!!

[RockOnDude]

Quote:
Originally Posted by lilfishy View Post
1. What is the name of your entry?: In The Stars<br />
2. What Genre is it?: Poem<br />
3. Where is your entry located \? Link, Picture, Video, Etc.: Below<br />
4. Is it just you in your Entry? Or is there anyone else invovled? If so, please notify here.: Only me<br />
5. How much time did you put into creating this entry?: 3 hours. It was so emotional.<br />
6. You agree with all the rules stated above? : Yes<br />
<b>7. Additional Comments: This is about my grandpa who passed away.<br />
8. Other: I miss him so much. We made a star for him, and when ever I look into the star, right next to the moon, and the biggest one there. I see my grandpas face looking back at me. One year before I was born, my grandpa got a stroke, and couldnt talk ever again. I never heard him talk to me, but in his hugs, and in his expressions of love towards me, that was his talking. I loved him so much, and when i was 5, he passed away.
You are in the stars. By David/lilfishy.
I look up every night, into the stars, and I see you
I wake up in the morning, and you are gone.
I go to school always looking for you.
But yet I dont see you.
I come home from school, hoping that you will be there.
But I do not see you.<br />
I go into my bed at night, but first look up at the stars.
And there you are looking back at me.

Thankyou for reading, and I hope someone worthy of winning wins.

~lilfishy~

lilfishy ftw~! I Love You fishy! you made me cry :( saddest poem ever :( all vote lilfishy~! :D

-rockondude :D
p.s. not just cause your my best friend im voting for you it is because i can tell you actually put your time into this:)

[lilfishy]

Thankyou very much rockon, and it is an honor to be chosen as one of the top 4:)

[Calorious]

Great lakes should definately win =]

[Divine]

Great Lakes FTW. all i gota say.:]

[Joshua.]

greatlakes 4 should win

[rockband]

Good luck Great lakes4, I'm voting for you.

[kuzmin]

Quote:
lilfishy ftw~! I Love You fishy! you made me cry :( saddest poem ever :( all vote lilfishy~! :D

-rockondude :D
p.s. not just cause your my best friend im voting for you it is because i can tell you actually put your time into this:)

Good job everyone. Right..it's cause he's your friend. Everyone put time into theirs :S

[lilfishy]

I say great lakes!:) Also kuzmin, he told me on server it made him cry since ita about my grandpa who passed away.

[Slyith]

hey thx guys :P

yeah i'm a pretty good poet, i've been selected in the top 5 poetry contest for 4 years straight on peotry.com :P.

[Arsenal]

Wow. Everyone thinks Great Lakes should win? Me and Wiz disagree and think Xenthosapien should win. I'll post our scores tomorrow since I haven't seen Wiz but everyone, don't let our opinions/scores influence your vote.

[king cailch]

Xenthosapien should win!!!!!! great story (my dads polish)

[Dangt351]

The lilFishy.
His was a great poem in my opinion.

~Dangt351

[Lucien]

Well ill be honest, I never realised there were such intelligent people who play this game.
These poems/storys/whatever you wish to call them all have obviously had a lot of thought and emotion put into them and I commend you all on that.

I personally voted for Xenthosapien, although im undecided on weather I believe you wrote this yourself or not and id like to have a conversation with you one day.

[the animal]

go great lakes!

[Italy68]

Good luck greatlakes.
You got my vote.

[Seno]

I liked Xenthosapien, his was a good poem, as well as funny.

[Erc0004]

i liked Great Lakes4 it was very good :P

[yimi167]

lol i'm catching up by looks, ty for ur votes people.

[kimitio]

personally i voted for yimi167 so much passion in the poem, compassion to. did u like break-up with someone or something? cause i think its a sad love song. but anyway great job.gl and hope you win dude.

[yimi167 pwns]

:):eek::rolleyes:personally i dont even no who yimi167 is but i hope he wins he helped me once in rs and i think its about time he gets some power and rewards:cool::):p

[kimitio]

sorry to say yimi167 pwons but that is double posting. which could include u getting a infraction.

[yimi167]

wow top of the votes so far Ty everyone who voted tyvm.also yimi167pwns let kimitio's words be your warning OK, double posting is 2 post back to back.

[elvestr]

i hope you win kevin i think youd be a perfect person for the job i got to go later kevin

[Arsenal]

Yimi. You're an ididot. I'm going to check all the IPs at the end of everyone that has voted. If you have made multiple accounts to vote for yourself, I'll ban you from the forums for a couple days, and you will be disqualified. So I'd stop if I were you because it is kind of obvious you have done this. -.- I don't care if you only made one account and did this, you will be taken out.

^That goes for everyone.^

Also, wow. Me and Wiz will shock you all with our scores/opinions on who did the best.

[bluesky]

not sure who to vote for.

[yimi167]

Yimi. You're an ididot. I'm going to check all the IPs at the end of everyone that has voted. If you have made multiple accounts to vote for yourself, I'll ban you from the forums for a couple days, and you will be disqualified. So I'd stop if I were you because it is kind of obvious you have done this. -.- I don't care if you only made one account and did this, you will be taken out.

^That goes for everyone.^

Also, wow. Me and Wiz will shock you all with our scores/opinions on who did the best.
i rarely use forums as it is and yes i did make multiple acc.s to do so..also i reviewed the rules you have made no where did you say i can't vote on my noob accs. i know it may be cheating but at least i ain't afraid to admit i did so and if i may add... i hardly use forums as it is so feel free to ban me from forums for a few days right now if u want.as far as i can see any acc. can vote and even so it will still be a close call you'll see what i mean.also if u banned me from in-game activity you will pay dearly for it rest a sure to that.so do as you like I'm following your rules of the competition so may this be a warning be more specific about the voting rules yourself.cause you can call the shots i made (only like 10 maybe a lil more or less). so disqualify me if you want but bear this in mind let the people decide, not your pride. and yes i plan to do something about this to.that i will. so do as you like but there is no rule against it in your rule descriptions. plus i never entered in this contest as it is mine work was a example of a song/poetry can't you read at all clearly stated on last line, i may have filled the registration form but it was to show a full entry example. so where do i fit in in all this.this is my way of saying lol what a mod, can't even read the line that state
"Originally Posted by yimi167 http://dodian.com/forums/images/artakus/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://dodian.com/forums/showthread.php?p=163340#post163340)
1. What is the name of your entry?:from me to you<br />
2. What Genre is it?:song/poetry<br />
3. Where is your entry located \? Link, Picture, Video, Etc.<img src="http://dodian.com/beta/images/smilies/redface.gif" border="0" alt="" title="Embarrassment" smilieid="2" class="inlineimg" />n this post<br />
4. Is it just you in your Entry? Or is there anyone else involved? If so, please notify here.:Just me and a lot of ideas.<br />
5. How much time did you put into creating this entry?:20m minutes<br />
6. You agree with all the rules stated above? :yes.<br />
7. Additional Comments:First song i wrote that was any good.<br />
8. Other:enjoy.i wrote this. <br />
poem/ song <br />
<br />
when i wake up my head in the sky. <br />
i look up and turn away.<br />
trying to find out the reasons why.<br />
when its down you and me.<br />
darling why couldn't u see.<br />
that its just you and me.<br />
and I've done my best to get through.<br />
my love from me to you.<br />
when we walk hand-n-hand heart-n-heart.<br />
honey why do we always fall apart.<br />
when it was just me and you .<br />
trying not to feel so blue.<br />
and I'll keep on trying to get my love through.<br />
from me to you.<br />
I'll keep on going another day.<br />
now we must go our own way.<br />
nothing left for us to say.<br />
but when it was down to me and you.<br />
i just wanted me love to get through.<br />
from me to you.<br />
<br />
dodian.com song/poem yimi167<br />
song example."
so who falut is it yours for not fully reading my post


with all due respect i do respect you its just why would you enter a example of a full sized entry into your contest.and even so i do feel xeno's is the best so heres what i'll do, take my entry out start poll over and then everyones happy, if not, i am not responsible for the outcome cause i'm not touching my votes from this point.but i can't stop my friends they do as they want. but i would like you to just remove my name from poll.

good luck to you all.

[Arsenal]

i rarely use forums as it is and yes i did make multiple acc.s to do so..also i reviewed the rules you have made no where did you say i can't vote on my noob accs. i know it may be cheating but at least i ain't afraid to admit i did so and if i may add... i hardly use forums as it is so feel free to ban me from forums for a few days right now if u want.as far as i can see any acc. can vote and even so it will still be a close call you'll see what i mean.also if u banned me from in-game activity you will pay dearly for it rest a sure to that.so do as you like I'm following your rules of the competition so may this be a warning be more specific about the voting rules yourself.cause you can call the shots i made (only like 10 maybe a lil more or less). so disqualify me if you want but bear this in mind let the people decide, not your pride. and yes i plan to do something about this to.that i will. so do as you like but there is no rule against it in your rule descriptions. plus i never entered in this contest as it is mine work was a example of a song/poetry can't you read at all clearly stated on last line, i may have filled the registration form but it was to show a full entry example. so where do i fit in in all this.this is my way of saying lol what a mod, can't even read the line that state
"Originally Posted by yimi167 http://dodian.com/forums/images/artakus/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://dodian.com/forums/showthread.php?p=163340#post163340)
1. What is the name of your entry?:from me to you<br />
2. What Genre is it?:song/poetry<br />
3. Where is your entry located \? Link, Picture, Video, Etc.<img src="http://dodian.com/beta/images/smilies/redface.gif" border="0" alt="" title="Embarrassment" smilieid="2" class="inlineimg" />n this post<br />
4. Is it just you in your Entry? Or is there anyone else involved? If so, please notify here.:Just me and a lot of ideas.<br />
5. How much time did you put into creating this entry?:20m minutes<br />
6. You agree with all the rules stated above? :yes.<br />
7. Additional Comments:First song i wrote that was any good.<br />
8. Other:enjoy.i wrote this. <br />
poem/ song <br />
<br />
when i wake up my head in the sky. <br />
i look up and turn away.<br />
trying to find out the reasons why.<br />
when its down you and me.<br />
darling why couldn't u see.<br />
that its just you and me.<br />
and I've done my best to get through.<br />
my love from me to you.<br />
when we walk hand-n-hand heart-n-heart.<br />
honey why do we always fall apart.<br />
when it was just me and you .<br />
trying not to feel so blue.<br />
and I'll keep on trying to get my love through.<br />
from me to you.<br />
I'll keep on going another day.<br />
now we must go our own way.<br />
nothing left for us to say.<br />
but when it was down to me and you.<br />
i just wanted me love to get through.<br />
from me to you.<br />
<br />
dodian.com song/poem yimi167<br />
song example."
so who falut is it yours for not fully reading my post


with all due respect i do respect you its just why would you enter a example of a full sized entry into your contest.and even so i do feel xeno's is the best so heres what i'll do, take my entry out start poll over and then everyones happy, if not, i am not responsible for the outcome cause i'm not touching my votes from this point.but i can't stop my friends they do as they want. but i would like you to just remove my name from poll.

good luck to you all.
I'm not going to restart the poll. I'm going to eliminate you. Plus, they aren't your friends. I have proof that you have made 6 accounts and voted for yourself on them. I'll reset your score to zero. Do it again, you're disqualified.

[Slyith]

wow yimi nice way to cheat

all those votes towards yimi are most likely his accounts...

wow, the way people have to cheat in order to win a contest..

[yimi1]

hey at least i admitted it, plus i won't deny it I'll forfeit hows that sound, and xen as i said i like yours the most.i'm not talking about the 6-10 i made some of my friends did the same thing to cause they wanted me to win. but i will withdraw willingly from this competition i never asked to be in it.

[lilfishy]

Wow yimi. People thanks for voting me. I support the non cheaters!

[Slyith]

some of your friends? you have like 20 accounts created

[dubbies12]

greatlakes4 all the way im diffnetly voting for u

[Xenthosapien]

its just a friendly competition guys, I tried my hardest and im sure every1 else did as well, may the best writer win. =)

[Wiz]

Arsenal, I know your here and your going to read this soon so please edit my judgements into the first two reserved post because Idk when I'll see you online again when you are on. kthx

Great Lakes 4
Grammar: I liked your use of words like "heavenly", "darkness", and your description of the cloud that's blue. Some parts though to me didn't make much grammatical sense such as "I’d post pictures of your pretty face in every frame" I mean, how do you POST pictures into a picture frame? usually you FRAME pictures, not POST them like on a telephone pole. and the use of the word "pretty"...come on, there's better words to use than that to describe her (or his o.o) face.
40/50
Spelling: Very few spelling mistakes that I noticed. But overall do not distract the reader from the meaning or from the flow of the poem.
50/50
Puncuation: Excellent puncuation. Little mistakes like a few extra spaces but nothing big.
49/50
Flow: The flow of this poem I thought was very well presented. You started out with your title "Dreaming is inevitable" which is really, inevitable. Then your poem sort of took the flow of a calm river caressing over the rocks...then turning into a turbulent, white-water rapid. This is not a bad thing however as I believe that the flow of your poem is probably the strongest thing about it as it starts out kind of calm and sweet, but as it goes towards the end it turns into this sort of "darkness" that you described that you where fading into a "darkness" that seems very turbulent that try's to deter you from the person that you wish to be with. Good job.
75/75
Meaning: I bow to you in virtual form as you are one of the few people that I have read poetry from that can present the meaning of their poem in a deep yet simple way. The meaning of your poem has personally had an effect on me because before I finally had the courage to ask Heather out, I was scared to death that I would lose her in that same "darkness" that you described as you where fading farther and farther apart. Lucky for me, I was able to grab Heather before she vanished into that darkness forever and I would be spending my days thinking "Why didn't I have the courage to ask her out?" and regretting the decision of not asking her for the rest of my life. It is an outstanding accomplishment you have achieved here with your meaning.
75/75
Overall, There are no words that I can use to describe to sum up your poem except for moving, touching, and most important of all, meaningful.
289/300

YIMI67 IS A N I G G E R AND I REFUSE TO POST MY JUDGEMENT OF HIS PIECE OF **** SONG. JHE DOES NOT DESERVE TO WIN AND IF ANYONE VOTES FOR HIM I WILL HAVE ARSENAL EDIT HIS VOTES BACK TO ZERO.

Lilfishy
Grammar: Some of your words I believe could of been substituted with words that had a deeper meaning but this is somewhat of a simple poem so simple words such as what you used are ok for this. But in the futurem remember that even though simplicity is a good thing, it is a bad thing in others.
50/50
Spelling: I see no blaring problems with your spelling. A few little mistakes in it but does not distract the reader enough to be evident.
50/50
Puncuation: First sentence is missing a period and in the 4th stanza."Dont" doesn't have a comma before the n. Overall, still is pretty good.
46/50
flow: it's obvious that there is a certain flow to your poem. I read it and was able to understand it without getting confused or troubled at any one certain part except for the ending. I think you might of flaked off a bit at the ending with the "I go to bed every night, looking up at the stars," but I still understood what was going on and was able to follow the flow of the poem.
75/75
Structure: Since poems barely have a structure, they focus more on the flow and feeling. This is why we have chosen to leave this part out for poems.

Meaning: quite frankly, I don't believe there is a meaning to this poem. I don't see any sort of "message" that you are supposed to get from this except for maybe remember the loved ones that you've lost but that was plain obvious with the beginning of your poem. Messages/Meanings are supposed to be something on a deeper level, something that you must ****yze to notice firsthand but I did not see any sort of deeper message/meaning in your poem.
65/75
Overall:
When examining this poem for a 2nd time, I realize that the pain and sorrow of losing a loved one is one of the worst things people can go through. I lost my girlfriend of 4 years, Heather, to a drunk driver last year so I can relate to how you where feeling about losing your Grandfather to whatever happened to him. Your poem does great justice to those who have lost someone dear in their lives such as I and I appreciate what you have done in your writting. But now for the bad part, This was not one of the best poems I've read in fact, it is FAR from it. But don't think I'm sort of prick when I say this because I am just simply giving you some constructive critsisim to your writting and hopefully I am helping you become a better writter.
286/300 (Arsenal if it's out of 350 then edit to 350.)

Xenthosapien
Grammar: Your use of grammar is profounding and shocking to me as here I sat believeing that Dodian users where comeplete ****ing idiots...yet as I see now there are a few diamonds in this pile of coal. The way you use your words throughout the story reminds me of some of my favorite authors. Many kudos to you for making an example of how grammar should be used.
50/50
Spelling: Your spelling was definetely some of the best. few mistakes here and there but they do not detract from the overall feeling and emotion of the story.
49/50
Puncuation: Your puncuation is some of the best I've seen ever on here. Although there are a FEW mistakes with puncuation with a few extra spaces here and there, your's is definetely the best in puncuation.
49/50
Flow: How can I explain the flow? Amazing? Extroadinary? Outstanding? There are many words that I could use to explain the flow of your story and I could go on and on talking about how your flow is the best out of any of the poems and entries in this compeitition but I will only say one word to sum this up, Amazaextraordinaryastanding.
50/50
Structure: the structure of the story is without a doubt in all honesty great but I did notice a LITTLE bit of a structure problem because of the whole proxyConnection thing which kinda threw it off but nonetheless, you did an amazing job with structuring the story.
49/50
Meaning: A tale of a boy named Edvard and the horrors that he expereinces during the dark era of the Holocaust. The meaning of this story is one of the most profound things I've ever read from the title "The guardian of prospierty" down to the death of his father and the rejection of his God. A dark and cruel message to us all that things, such as the holocaust, are never to be forgotten and the people that suffered and where murderd by Nazi Germany are to never be forgotten in vain. What we have here is a foundation to what future writers on this site should look up to, I know I am.
50/50
Overall: For once, I am speechless.
298/300

(Xentho has my vote.)

[Slyith]

btw Wiz, not to offend you or anything.

it's called figure of speech..being a poet mostly has a lot of figurative speech in it

[mr rich pure]

I think he should deserve it =p

[lilfishy]

Thanks mr rich:)


ALso thats for remarkable judgement, and critism Wiz:)

[elvestr]

I'm not going to restart the poll. I'm going to eliminate you. Plus, they aren't your friends. I have proof that you have made 6 accounts and voted for yourself on them. I'll reset your score to zero. Do it again, you're disqualified.

hey noob its kevins friend and its me who did it i dont care bann me this game wont last without kevin he is better then any of you fags on here im tired of you guys thinking your smarter and cool but your nerds kevin is smarter, cooler, and can make mod better then any of the leaders so you may reset his score but it just goes to show you your a douchebag

[elvestr]

some of your friends? you have like 20 accounts created

noob he has more friends then you do pubic hairs

[Slyith]

noob he has more friends then you do pubic hairs

lol pubic hairs?

I really doubt he's any smarter...and you say nerd? Anyone who plays a game is a nerd. So you're basically calling your "friend" a nerd since he plays this game...

We aren't being douche bags..he's the one who is cheating in order to win. He joined not too long ago, and he got 30 votes within 4-5 hours..

[elvestr]

i rarely use forums as it is and yes i did make multiple acc.s to do so..also i reviewed the rules you have made no where did you say i can't vote on my noob accs. i know it may be cheating but at least i ain't afraid to admit i did so and if i may add... i hardly use forums as it is so feel free to ban me from forums for a few days right now if u want.as far as i can see any acc. can vote and even so it will still be a close call you'll see what i mean.also if u banned me from in-game activity you will pay dearly for it rest a sure to that.so do as you like I'm following your rules of the competition so may this be a warning be more specific about the voting rules yourself.cause you can call the shots i made (only like 10 maybe a lil more or less). so disqualify me if you want but bear this in mind let the people decide, not your pride. and yes i plan to do something about this to.that i will. so do as you like but there is no rule against it in your rule descriptions. plus i never entered in this contest as it is mine work was a example of a song/poetry can't you read at all clearly stated on last line, i may have filled the registration form but it was to show a full entry example. so where do i fit in in all this.this is my way of saying lol what a mod, can't even read the line that state
"Originally Posted by yimi167 http://dodian.com/forums/images/artakus/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://dodian.com/forums/showthread.php?p=163340#post163340)
1. What is the name of your entry?:from me to you<br />
2. What Genre is it?:song/poetry<br />
3. Where is your entry located \? Link, Picture, Video, Etc.<img src="http://dodian.com/beta/images/smilies/redface.gif" border="0" alt="" title="Embarrassment" smilieid="2" class="inlineimg" />n this post<br />
4. Is it just you in your Entry? Or is there anyone else involved? If so, please notify here.:Just me and a lot of ideas.<br />
5. How much time did you put into creating this entry?:20m minutes<br />
6. You agree with all the rules stated above? :yes.<br />
7. Additional Comments:First song i wrote that was any good.<br />
8. Other:enjoy.i wrote this. <br />
poem/ song <br />
<br />
when i wake up my head in the sky. <br />
i look up and turn away.<br />
trying to find out the reasons why.<br />
when its down you and me.<br />
darling why couldn't u see.<br />
that its just you and me.<br />
and I've done my best to get through.<br />
my love from me to you.<br />
when we walk hand-n-hand heart-n-heart.<br />
honey why do we always fall apart.<br />
when it was just me and you .<br />
trying not to feel so blue.<br />
and I'll keep on trying to get my love through.<br />
from me to you.<br />
I'll keep on going another day.<br />
now we must go our own way.<br />
nothing left for us to say.<br />
but when it was down to me and you.<br />
i just wanted me love to get through.<br />
from me to you.<br />
<br />
dodian.com song/poem yimi167<br />
song example."
so who falut is it yours for not fully reading my post


with all due respect i do respect you its just why would you enter a example of a full sized entry into your contest.and even so i do feel xeno's is the best so heres what i'll do, take my entry out start poll over and then everyones happy, if not, i am not responsible for the outcome cause i'm not touching my votes from this point.but i can't stop my friends they do as they want. but i would like you to just remove my name from poll.

good luck to you all.



Great Lakes 4
Grammar: I liked your use of words like "heavenly", "darkness", and your description of the cloud that's blue. Some parts though to me didn't make much grammatical sense such as "I’d post pictures of your pretty face in every frame" I mean, how do you POST pictures into a picture frame? usually you FRAME pictures, not POST them like on a telephone pole. and the use of the word "pretty"...come on, there's better words to use than that to describe her (or his o.o) face.
40/50
50/50
49/50
Flow: The flow of this poem I thought was very well presented. You started out with your title "Dreaming is inevitable" which is really, inevitable. Then your poem sort of took the flow of a calm river caressing over the rocks...then turning into a turbulent, white-water rapid. This is not a bad thing however as I believe that the flow of your poem is probably the strongest thing about it as it starts out kind of calm and sweet, but as it goes towards the end it turns into this sort of "darkness" that you described that you where fading into a "darkness" that seems very turbulent that try's to deter you from the person that you wish to be with. Good job.
75/75
Meaning: I bow to you in virtual form as you are one of the few people that I have read poetry from that can present the meaning of their poem in a deep yet simple way. The meaning of your poem has personally had an effect on me because before I finally had the courage to ask Heather out, I was scared to death that I would lose her in that same "darkness" that you described as you where fading farther and farther apart. Lucky for me, I was able to grab Heather before she vanished into that darkness forever and I would be spending my days thinking "Why didn't I have the courage to ask her out?" and regretting the decision of not asking her for the rest of my life. It is an outstanding accomplishment you have achieved here with your meaning.
75/75
289/300
YIMI67 IS A N I G G E R AND I REFUSE TO POST MY JUDGEMENT OF HIS PIECE OF **** SONG. JHE DOES NOT DESERVE TO WIN AND IF ANYONE VOTES FOR HIM I WILL HAVE ARSENAL EDIT HIS VOTES BACK TO ZERO.
Lilfishy
50/50
50/50
49/50
flow: it's obvious that there is a certain flow to your poem. I read it and was able to understand it without getting confused or troubled at any one certain part except for the ending. I think you might of flaked off a bit at the ending with the "I go to bed every night, looking up at the stars," but I still understood what was going on and was able to follow the flow of the poem.
75/75
Structure: Since poems barely have a structure, they focus more on the flow and feeling. This is why we have chosen to leave this part out for poems.

Meaning: quite frankly, I don't believe there is a meaning to this poem. I don't see any sort of "message" that you are supposed to get from this except for maybe remember the loved ones that you've lost but that was plain obvious with the beginning of your poem. Messages/Meanings are supposed to be something on a deeper level, something that you must ****yze to notice firsthand but I did not see any sort of deeper message/meaning in your poem.
65/75
Overall:
When examining this poem for a 2nd time, I realize that the pain and sorrow of losing a loved one is one of the worst things people can go through. I lost my girlfriend of 4 years, Heather, to a drunk driver last year so I can relate to how you where feeling about losing your Grandfather to whatever happened to him. Your poem does great justice to those who have lost someone dear in their lives such as I and I appreciate what you have done in your writting. But now for the bad part, This was not one of the best poems I've read in fact, it is FAR from it. But don't think I'm sort of prick when I say this because I am just simply giving you some constructive critsisim to your writting and hopefully I am helping you become a better writter.
286/300 (Arsenal if it's out of 350 then edit to 350.)

Xenthosapien
Grammar: Your use of grammar is profounding and shocking to me as here I sat believeing that Dodian users where comeplete ****ing idiots...yet as I see now there are a few diamonds in this pile of coal. The way you use your words throughout the story reminds me of some of my favorite authors. Many kudos to you for making an example of how grammar should be used.
50/50
Spelling: Your spelling was definetely some of the best. few mistakes here and there but they do not detract from the overall feeling and emotion of the story.
49/50
Puncuation: Your puncuation is some of the best I've seen ever on here. Although there are a FEW mistakes with puncuation with a few extra spaces here and there, your's is definetely the best in puncuation.
49/50
Flow: How can I explain the flow? Amazing? Extroadinary? Outstanding? There are many words that I could use to explain the flow of your story and I could go on and on talking about how your flow is the best out of any of the poems and entries in this compeitition but I will only say one word to sum this up, Amazaextraordinaryastanding.
50/50
Structure: the structure of the story is without a doubt in all honesty great but I did notice a LITTLE bit of a structure problem because of the whole proxyConnection thing which kinda threw it off but nonetheless, you did an amazing job with structuring the story.
49/50
Meaning: A tale of a boy named Edvard and the horrors that he expereinces during the dark era of the Holocaust. The meaning of this story is one of the most profound things I've ever read from the title "The guardian of prospierty" down to the death of his father and the rejection of his God. A dark and cruel message to us all that things, such as the holocaust, are never to be forgotten and the people that suffered and where murderd by Nazi Germany are to never be forgotten in vain. What we have here is a foundation to what future writers on this site should look up to, I know I am.
50/50
Overall: For once, I am speechless.
298/300

(Xentho has my vote.)

wow your cool fagget you think ur cool but your not your poem and story suck get a life no one likes you not even your mom

[elvestr]

lol pubic hairs?

I really doubt he's any smarter...and you say nerd? Anyone who plays a game is a nerd. So you're basically calling your "friend" a nerd since he plays this game...

We aren't being douche bags..he's the one who is cheating in order to win. He joined not too long ago, and he got 30 votes within 4-5 hours..

hey nerd he got it from friends something you dont have and he wasnt really cheating u re it isnt in the rule book you fag thats what he said so and you got no pubic hairs so i wouldnt be talking hes smarter then your mom and dad were when they had you fagget

[N o v a]

Had to post right after I posted Sotm lol.

[elvestr]

Had to post right after I posted Sotm lol.
ok..................

[Slyith]

hey nerd he got it from friends something you dont have and he wasnt really cheating u re it isnt in the rule book you fag thats what he said so and you got no pubic hairs so i wouldnt be talking hes smarter then your mom and dad were when they had you fagget

lol okay, nice way because you can only talk smack over the internet..you're probably 12 years old.

now please stop spamming like a 8 year old

[elvestr]

lol okay, nice way because you can only talk smack over the internet..you're probably 12 years old.

now please stop spamming like a 8 year old

hey nerd i dont have to i am 11 years old and ive got laid have you no because ur a 45 year old guy who plays a gay game called dodian:eek:

[A B Y S S]

im a bum:)

[Lord Pker]

hey nerd i dont have to i am 11 years old and ive got laid have you no because ur a 45 year old guy who plays a gay game called dodian:eek:

don't act like a baby...

[Wiz]

wow your cool fagget you think ur cool but your not your poem and story suck get a life no one likes you not even your mom

1. That poem and story are not mine. so how can they suck if they aren't even mine?
2. Please, get off of the internet. It does not need anymore 11 year olds.
3. Your parents must be absolute failures if they allow you to talk like this to older people that are MUCH more wiser and intelligent than you.
4. Acting eHard on the internet will not get you anywhere
5. GET THE **** OUT N I G G E R.

[PureSkiller]

1. That poem and story are not mine. so how can they suck if they aren't even mine?
2. Please, get off of the internet. It does not need anymore 11 year olds.
3. Your parents must be absolute failures if they allow you to talk like this to older people that are MUCH more wiser and intelligent than you.
4. Acting eHard on the internet will not get you anywhere
5. GET THE **** OUT N I G G E R.

Amen.

(10 Chars :D)

[elvestr]

1. That poem and story are not mine. so how can they suck if they aren't even mine?
2. Please, get off of the internet. It does not need anymore 11 year olds.
3. Your parents must be absolute failures if they allow you to talk like this to older people that are MUCH more wiser and intelligent than you.
4. Acting eHard on the internet will not get you anywhere
5. GET THE **** OUT N I G G E R.

no body likes a nerd who stays on the internet all day?

[Wiz]

no body likes a nerd who stays on the internet all day?

This pertains as to what I was saying about you because?...

[susp3ct]

i think the winner should be........ great lakes4:):):):cool:

[lilfishy]

I know this doesnt relate here, but I just amde a new story. My first story ever.

Please say critisms, and rate...



The Key To Time


One time a long long time ago, before Adam and Eve, before the dinasours, there was the past, present and future. Now in the year 2028, the biggest secret of the earth has been revealed. Now heres the story.

I live in a time of war, in the strongest and weekest place of the earth. I live in a world of mysteries, but now its all clear. It all started one dark, cloudy day. I was running. There was just a sign of an assasin on the loose. I ran, I hid. I stumbled. I fell. Far. Deep. All the way down that hill I fell, and all I remember was that sharp landing on my face. But I lived. I was lost, with no where to go. I fell down into the center of the earth. Through a hole that noone ever knew about. That is my beginning of the rest of my life. That is when I found it. My name is Joshua Giani. I was out cold when I fell, but when I awoke from that tremendous fall, yes my skull was bleeding, and my right arm was broken, but I lived. I was able to walk, and I did. I walked and walked untill i couldnt walk anymore. And then I saw it. I saw a big but small, thick but thin, light but heavy, dull but shiny, amazing extraordinary crystal. It was stuck into the ground, and it was shining with electrical flares on it. I didnt know what to do. So I touched it. Then I felt it, amsing power. I felt the difference between right and wrong, and the difference between normal and pure magic. I pulled it, and surprising enough it came out of the ground. Right when I wedged it out of the ground, It opened, and started showing me many pictures. It took hours until I realised what this crystal is. And at that exact moment the ground started shaking like a dog shaking water off. I picked it up and ran. But where do I go? I wondered. I was down in the middle of the earth. And then it happened. This extraordinary magic started to control me, and I was soon flying up this giant hill. Then I was there. I was where I fell, where the rest of society was. But this time, I was not afraid. I did not run. I walked through the war, I was untouchable. I couldnt die, I could just sence it. I knew the secrets to the universe. I knew that before dinasours, there was a past, present and future. I now knew that the world goes round and round, not only physically, but also in a matter of time. Time was evitable to me, it was not important, and not needed. I, a 13 year old boy had the key to the surviving of the universe as we know it and as we dont, PAST, PRESENT, AND FUTURE, ROUND AND ROUND AND ROUND WE GO!...


I hold the key to the universe...
I see the past before the past.
I see the present during a different present
I see the future of the future.

How do I live?

What do I do?...




( To Be Continued )

[yimi167]

wow yimi nice way to cheat

all those votes towards yimi are most likely his accounts...

wow, the way people have to cheat in order to win a contest..
actually only about 10 were mine.srry bout double post. and it would be easier to remove my name from the votes.also i am white not black. call me a n i g g e r again and i will have you banned wiz.

[yimi167]

Arsenal, I know your here and your going to read this soon so please edit my judgements into the first two reserved post because Idk when I'll see you online again when you are on. kthx

Great Lakes 4
Grammar: I liked your use of words like "heavenly", "darkness", and your description of the cloud that's blue. Some parts though to me didn't make much grammatical sense such as "I’d post pictures of your pretty face in every frame" I mean, how do you POST pictures into a picture frame? usually you FRAME pictures, not POST them like on a telephone pole. and the use of the word "pretty"...come on, there's better words to use than that to describe her (or his o.o) face.
40/50
Spelling: Very few spelling mistakes that I noticed. But overall do not distract the reader from the meaning or from the flow of the poem.
50/50
Puncuation: Excellent puncuation. Little mistakes like a few extra spaces but nothing big.
49/50
Flow: The flow of this poem I thought was very well presented. You started out with your title "Dreaming is inevitable" which is really, inevitable. Then your poem sort of took the flow of a calm river caressing over the rocks...then turning into a turbulent, white-water rapid. This is not a bad thing however as I believe that the flow of your poem is probably the strongest thing about it as it starts out kind of calm and sweet, but as it goes towards the end it turns into this sort of "darkness" that you described that you where fading into a "darkness" that seems very turbulent that try's to deter you from the person that you wish to be with. Good job.
75/75
Meaning: I bow to you in virtual form as you are one of the few people that I have read poetry from that can present the meaning of their poem in a deep yet simple way. The meaning of your poem has personally had an effect on me because before I finally had the courage to ask Heather out, I was scared to death that I would lose her in that same "darkness" that you described as you where fading farther and farther apart. Lucky for me, I was able to grab Heather before she vanished into that darkness forever and I would be spending my days thinking "Why didn't I have the courage to ask her out?" and regretting the decision of not asking her for the rest of my life. It is an outstanding accomplishment you have achieved here with your meaning.
75/75
Overall, There are no words that I can use to describe to sum up your poem except for moving, touching, and most important of all, meaningful.
289/300

YIMI67 IS A N I G G E R AND I REFUSE TO POST MY JUDGEMENT OF HIS PIECE OF **** SONG. JHE DOES NOT DESERVE TO WIN AND IF ANYONE VOTES FOR HIM I WILL HAVE ARSENAL EDIT HIS VOTES BACK TO ZERO.

Lilfishy
Grammar: Some of your words I believe could of been substituted with words that had a deeper meaning but this is somewhat of a simple poem so simple words such as what you used are ok for this. But in the futurem remember that even though simplicity is a good thing, it is a bad thing in others.
50/50
Spelling: I see no blaring problems with your spelling. A few little mistakes in it but does not distract the reader enough to be evident.
50/50
Puncuation: First sentence is missing a period and in the 4th stanza."Dont" doesn't have a comma before the n. Overall, still is pretty good.
46/50
flow: it's obvious that there is a certain flow to your poem. I read it and was able to understand it without getting confused or troubled at any one certain part except for the ending. I think you might of flaked off a bit at the ending with the "I go to bed every night, looking up at the stars," but I still understood what was going on and was able to follow the flow of the poem.
75/75
Structure: Since poems barely have a structure, they focus more on the flow and feeling. This is why we have chosen to leave this part out for poems.

Meaning: quite frankly, I don't believe there is a meaning to this poem. I don't see any sort of "message" that you are supposed to get from this except for maybe remember the loved ones that you've lost but that was plain obvious with the beginning of your poem. Messages/Meanings are supposed to be something on a deeper level, something that you must ****yze to notice firsthand but I did not see any sort of deeper message/meaning in your poem.
65/75
Overall:
When examining this poem for a 2nd time, I realize that the pain and sorrow of losing a loved one is one of the worst things people can go through. I lost my girlfriend of 4 years, Heather, to a drunk driver last year so I can relate to how you where feeling about losing your Grandfather to whatever happened to him. Your poem does great justice to those who have lost someone dear in their lives such as I and I appreciate what you have done in your writting. But now for the bad part, This was not one of the best poems I've read in fact, it is FAR from it. But don't think I'm sort of prick when I say this because I am just simply giving you some constructive critsisim to your writting and hopefully I am helping you become a better writter.
286/300 (Arsenal if it's out of 350 then edit to 350.)

Xenthosapien
Grammar: Your use of grammar is profounding and shocking to me as here I sat believeing that Dodian users where comeplete ****ing idiots...yet as I see now there are a few diamonds in this pile of coal. The way you use your words throughout the story reminds me of some of my favorite authors. Many kudos to you for making an example of how grammar should be used.
50/50
Spelling: Your spelling was definetely some of the best. few mistakes here and there but they do not detract from the overall feeling and emotion of the story.
49/50
Puncuation: Your puncuation is some of the best I've seen ever on here. Although there are a FEW mistakes with puncuation with a few extra spaces here and there, your's is definetely the best in puncuation.
49/50
Flow: How can I explain the flow? Amazing? Extroadinary? Outstanding? There are many words that I could use to explain the flow of your story and I could go on and on talking about how your flow is the best out of any of the poems and entries in this compeitition but I will only say one word to sum this up, Amazaextraordinaryastanding.
50/50
Structure: the structure of the story is without a doubt in all honesty great but I did notice a LITTLE bit of a structure problem because of the whole proxyConnection thing which kinda threw it off but nonetheless, you did an amazing job with structuring the story.
49/50
Meaning: A tale of a boy named Edvard and the horrors that he expereinces during the dark era of the Holocaust. The meaning of this story is one of the most profound things I've ever read from the title "The guardian of prospierty" down to the death of his father and the rejection of his God. A dark and cruel message to us all that things, such as the holocaust, are never to be forgotten and the people that suffered and where murderd by Nazi Germany are to never be forgotten in vain. What we have here is a foundation to what future writers on this site should look up to, I know I am.
50/50
Overall: For once, I am speechless.
298/300

(Xentho has my vote.)

wow really mature, on a scale of 1-10 this competition is a 1/10, there is no point and wiz you and arsenal are retards if you think you can judge ones piece of work, for it is only within the writer himself that will ever fully understand the full meaning of what is written. so you can sit at a computer blog, spam, or even talk **** but never talk bad about my liricricy ever. so just sit there be a lazy moron who will never get laid cause he wants to watch video p*rn instead of doing it.but never for a second believe that you or anyone else can judge someone for their own mind that may speak. as i will fight for your right to vote on it but i will kill a man who say its bad. so sit there stfu and let it be. i never asked to be in your retarded competition so don't talk trash about me cause you dislike me. with hold your voice and die. my sword has sheath much blood already so don't go there!! wiz and arsenal you are both retards may this be your lesson.good day to all you bastards out there in the world if u read this , you are a duchbag.also wiz and arsenal you are both acting like duchbags, please be nicer or i will have you removed as forum mod(arsenal).and wiz what are you 70 years old and still playing this no wonder you'll never get laid nor have a good insult book. mines a lil dusty but i just started to read it again, been 10 years since i had to open it.

[Wiz]

wow really mature, on a scale of 1-10 this competition is a 1/10, there is no point and wiz you and arsenal are retards if you think you can judge ones piece of work, for it is only within the writer himself that will ever fully understand the full meaning of what is written. so you can sit at a computer blog, spam, or even talk **** but never talk bad about my liricricy ever. so just sit there be a lazy moron who will never get laid cause he wants to watch video p*rn instead of doing it.but never for a second believe that you or anyone else can judge someone for their own mind that may speak. as i will fight for your right to vote on it but i will kill a man who say its bad. so sit there stfu and let it be. i never asked to be in your retarded competition so don't talk trash about me cause you dislike me. with hold your voice and die. my sword has sheath much blood already so don't go there!! wiz and arsenal you are both retards may this be your lesson.good day to all you bastards out there in the world if u read this , you are a duchbag.also wiz and arsenal you are both acting like duchbags, please be nicer or i will have you removed as forum mod(arsenal).and wiz what are you 70 years old and still playing this no wonder you'll never get laid nor have a good insult book. mines a lil dusty but i just started to read it again, been 10 years since i had to open it.

Actually, I am 18, had a girlfriend of 4 years, and lost her to an drunk driving accident. so your claim that I am "70 years old" and "never got laid" is futile. Also, Here in America we have a little thing called Freedom of Speech so I can say what the **** goddamn ever I want to say about your piece of **** song. I'd like to try to see you get Arsenal removed as forum mod in fact, I'll make a bet with you...get him removed from forum mod and I'll send you $50.00 in what ever currency you have over PayPal. And after looking at your statements again, it is obvious that you have the maturity of that of someone under the age of 12 and I refuse to argue with little children such as yourself so please do us all a favor and get the **** out.

[elvestr]

wow really mature, on a scale of 1-10 this competition is a 1/10, there is no point and wiz you and arsenal are retards if you think you can judge ones piece of work, for it is only within the writer himself that will ever fully understand the full meaning of what is written. so you can sit at a computer blog, spam, or even talk **** but never talk bad about my liricricy ever. so just sit there be a lazy moron who will never get laid cause he wants to watch video p*rn instead of doing it.but never for a second believe that you or anyone else can judge someone for their own mind that may speak. as i will fight for your right to vote on it but i will kill a man who say its bad. so sit there stfu and let it be. i never asked to be in your retarded competition so don't talk trash about me cause you dislike me. with hold your voice and die. my sword has sheath much blood already so don't go there!! wiz and arsenal you are both retards may this be your lesson.good day to all you bastards out there in the world if u read this , you are a duchbag.also wiz and arsenal you are both acting like duchbags, please be nicer or i will have you removed as forum mod(arsenal).and wiz what are you 70 years old and still playing this no wonder you'll never get laid nor have a good insult book. mines a lil dusty but i just started to read it again, been 10 years since i had to open it.

AMEN! kevin AMEN!

[elvestr]

Actually, I am 18, had a girlfriend of 4 years, and lost her to an drunk driving accident. so your claim that I am "70 years old" and "never got laid" is futile. Also, Here in America we have a little thing called Freedom of Speech so I can say what the **** goddamn ever I want to say about your piece of **** song. I'd like to try to see you get Arsenal removed as forum mod in fact, I'll make a bet with you...get him removed from forum mod and I'll send you $50.00 in what ever currency you have over PayPal. And after looking at your statements again, it is obvious that you have the maturity of that of someone under the age of 12 and I refuse to argue with little children such as yourself so please do us all a favor and get the **** out.

wow u think ur cool because u can bann people go find a hooker and get laid oh yea no one likes u becauyuse u have a shribbled up **** for being 85 years old tell ur mom she left her underwear at my house fagget "im cool because i can bann yimi167" your a douchebag man

[elvestr]

actually only about 10 were mine.srry bout double post. and it would be easier to remove my name from the votes.also i am white not black. call me a n i g g e r again and i will have you banned wiz.

well acually look at the score yimi would have 1 none of u nerds have ever comprehended having *** i bet yimi has and dont diss black people or ill hunt you down are hurt you you ***** im black and ill make ur life HELL!

AMEN kevin AMEN

[dumamay100]

gl for all contestants

[elvestr]

gl for all contestants

wtf man its not ur say in the race its all gay this website is gay wizes dad is GAY!

[Slyith]

then why are you still posting on here and logging onto this website?

GTFO of this website, no one wants you here

[elvestr]

then why are you still posting on here and logging onto this website?

GTFO of this website, no one wants you here

hey nerd im on here because im tired of nerds like you thinking ur better then everyone less smarter well if i new who u werein rl id kick ur ass you ****ing ***** i hate fags like you

[yimi171]

lol real funny if i may ask why did you ban yimi167 from forum. if you don't tell me then i will have a reason to remove you as a forum mod.i take this as a serious offense.and if you don't have a reason i will make my report directly to dodian.

[Wiz]

Good luck getting Benz demodded because I was the one that told him to perm ban you forums. Keep it up, and I'll get Guthan to IP ban you from forums and game as well as your little faggot friends.

[Temperance]

This is easy.

Xeno should win hands down. I've got nothing against you Great Lakes4, but I really disliked your poem.

But jeez, some people need to take a chill pill. Keep arguing, and see what happens.

Nothing.

[Slyith]

This is easy.

Xeno should win hands down. I've got nothing against you Great Lakes4, but I really disliked your poem.

But jeez, some people need to take a chill pill. Keep arguing, and see what happens.

Nothing.

nothing taken...but may i ask you why you dislike my poem?

[Balmora]

sence yimi was dqed can you put mine in ^.^

[lilfishy]

Wth? why is my poem out of the list?

Great Lakes4 (page 7)
Yimi167 (page 3)
Xenthosapien (Page 10)



Thast the voting list. Mine isnt there:( And yimi's is :(

[purekiller87]

Xeno Ftw !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[avant]

great lakes4 FTW!

[kinwizzard1]

great lakes 4 >;D

[Arsenal]

The Voting Has Now Closed! Along With This Thread!