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Temperance
10-25-2008, 11:09 AM
Part 1:

The cool spring air rushed past my face as I was walking home from school one sunny April day. The trees are starting to bud, and the flowers are beginning to bloom. It was a chilly day out, but it was nothing compared to last week. About 2 miles from my house, I decided to go a different path from which I usually take. And that is where this story begins...

As I slowly walked through the dark, wet, and quiet woods, I discover a hole in the ground. It looked like someone was digging something here, but I did not understand why someone would build something so far out in a forest. I decided to quench my thirst for curiosity and take a closer look inside.

As I peeked my head over the hole, I began to tremble. It looked like a medieval town below, and I thought that I was hallucinating. I decided to reach my hand down into the pit and as I was lowering it, a tingle went down my spine.

It felt like water, but it was not. I could not stand being there, but I did not want to leave. I waited there for so long, thinking about jumping in, and confirming my thought that I was just seeing things. I finally decided that I was going to jump in. I took off my back pack, and set it slowly on the leaf strewn forest floor.

"Hah! I can't believe I am about to this! It's just water..." I said to myself, but I knew somewhere, that this was not what I had planned....

Part 2:

As I fell in, I felt like I had lost my grip on reality. My emotions had been sucked from my conscious state of mind, and I had not a care or worry, not even a single thought. All at once, everything rushed back to me, and I realized I was drowning. I quickly resurfaced, and I noticed all of my surroundings.

Nothing had changed.

I was perplexed, but also relieved to know that I was correct. I grabbed onto a nearby branch, and pulled myself from the murky water. Even though I was dripping wet, I needed to get back home. As I looked for my back pack as quickly as possible, it was no where to be found. I started to wonder why it was not where I had left it. I looked down at the forest floor again, and I noticed something I had not before.

The forest was not the same as before I jumped into the water. Trees were dead, there were very little leaves left, and it was much warmer. I started to panic at this point, as I had no idea where I was, then it suddenly came to me. "Why don't I just jump in, and see what happens? If I resurfaced here after I jumped in, I can just do the same, and end back up where I started!" I thought. I walked back to the pit, but something was there. I heard it run behind one of the dead, black trees.

"Wh...wh...who's there?" I said quite softly. There was no response, but I heard it moving. "WHO IS THERE!!" I screamed very loud. "Oy! Settle yur voice!" It had sounded like a man, but in a strange dialect of which I had never heard before. The man slowly stepped out behind the tree, and his clothes instantaneously caught my attention. It looked like he was a peasant, his face covered in dirt, wearing a poorly woven cloth shirt, as well as ripped, muddy pants.

"Who...are you?" I said in a normal tone. I was sure I was not in the right state of mind, as I was conviced I was seeing something. "Robert Lockingham is me name, but some call me Lock for simple."
he said quite fast. "What are ye doin here? Shouldnt ye be home safe with yur family?" Lock said. "I wish I were...But I dont know how I got here. I dove into a hole, but when I came back up, I wasnt in the same place." I said.

"...No...Ye didnt come from that hole, did ye?"

Lock spoke in a much quieter and deeper voice than he had before. He slowly pointed to the hole that I came in through. I was frozen, and I couldnt even speak. All I could do was shake my head up, and down. Lock then told me the worst thing I ever heard in my life.

"I am sorry...but ye cannot get back. Ye stuck ere for the rest of yur life."

(Part 3 Next)

Love Ya
10-25-2008, 11:13 AM
Nice im already hooked on your story please right more you rock! :)

The Zaven
10-25-2008, 11:16 AM
Too much is happening at the start of the story. You just said the landscape, then you wrote the shocker. Also, stolen name from the Diablo series.

Edit: That's your account that commented you.

Love Ya
10-25-2008, 11:18 AM
Hey he may be just starting at story making be nice :D

Edit: btw no im not

Temperance
10-25-2008, 11:25 AM
Too much is happening at the start of the story. You just said the landscape, then you wrote the shocker. Also, stolen name from the Diablo series.

Edit: That's your account that commented you.

Stolen name? All I did was use the name Tristram. Can't tell me people havent used plenty of names for stories that were already something. And please, I dont write like everyone else does, I write in my own style, but I appriciate the critisism.

And yea, that isnt my account there bub.

ArmaLite
10-25-2008, 11:26 AM
Tristram = Diablo 2.

Also, no, they are not the same person, I checked.

Love Ya
10-25-2008, 11:32 AM
temp when next part coming? I really wanna read it! :D


-Jenna-

Bob Dole
10-25-2008, 11:34 AM
Tristram is one of King Arthurs Knights. From the Round Table.

But, it is also from Diablo.

Temperance
10-25-2008, 08:03 PM
Ok, I just finished part 2, so you can read that.

And yes, Tristram is from the Diablo series, but isnt the Knight named Tristran?

Archemedies
10-28-2008, 09:07 PM
Someone can close this, I decided to quit working on this, and make a new story.

savage
10-28-2008, 09:08 PM
i like it very nice