Death..

[shadow8564]

Well, here goes nothing....


My eyes search the forbidding sky around me,
I feel the darkness closing in,
I savor every breath,
I look up at the sky for a final time, and close my eyes,
My heart takes its final beat and my spirit is freed,
My stone faced gaze turns into a slight grin as i am freed from this world,
forever....



Kinda depressing, umm... well i tried didnt I?

[X Blake X]

:O

-Ibrairiff

[GfX]

Pretty good.
Keep on doin what u do :)

[Archemedies]

Yea, it was kind of grim, but I liked the whole layout of the poem. You can probably change the use of the word "sky" by putting something else in that is more meaningful or deep.

8/10

[Noles]

stone facedDid you mean stoned face?

[The Zaven]

Grammar 9/10, Literature 8/10.

It's a good meaning, I liked it.