Marisa
01-06-2009, 07:26 PM
Alright, well Spot challenged me a few days ago to write a short story. Here's what I have so far. Some details aren't there yet and the names will probably change. (I just came up with some random names to use for now.) It needs a lot of work, but I wanted to see what you guys thought about it so far. Love it or hate it, comment and rate it. :) (
(Untitled)
She woke to feel his soft breath against her cheek as he whispered, “I love you,” just as he did every morning, before his 9 o’clock English class.
This was the everyday life of Jaycee Barnes, journalism major at (some college), student council representative, and girlfriend to her high school sweetheart, Kevin Johnson.
To Jaycee, the world was her oyster. She didn’t just have confidence, she owned it like it was her own property. Everyone on campus knew it. Her constant upbeat energy was something no one could ignore.
As Jaycee opened her eyes and looked around her room, she smiled. Reminders of things that kept her happy surrounded her room. On her desk sat her laptop. Its pulsing light seemed to remind her of all the journalism articles she’d successfully written with it. On her nightstand stood a picture of Kevin and her. It captured that time in her life when she thought that putting a bright teal streak in her hair would be cool. Kevin would never mention it, but she knew he couldn’t wait for her hair to be normal again.
She crossed the room toward her mirror. She never really considered herself a “pretty girl.” Yet she knew she wasn’t ugly. She glanced at herself for a long time. She tried to think of what Kevin liked about her. She could never see the things that he could. He was constantly telling her how beautiful he thought she was. He described her soft, blonde hair that just passed her shoulders, her tiny frame of a body that seemed to fit perfectly in his arms, or her bright blue eyes that he swears give him chills. Normally, comments such as these caused a blush and a comment about him needing his eyes checked. Yet, secretly, she wished she could see it too.
When Jaycee looked in the mirror, she didn’t see anything that he described. She would classify the short, blonde girl standing in front of her as decent; nothing to look at, but not repulsive.
Today felt somehow different than any other day. Jaycee’s intuitive instincts were going haywire. Something in the pit of her stomach made her nervous about what the day would bring.
It’s nothing. You’re overreacting, she thought.
She tried to put away her nervous feelings. She refused to let it affect her; today of all days. After all, today she had a date with Kevin.
He told her two weeks ago not to make any plans. He looked so excited about it that she almost had to agree. In truth, she was just as ecstatic as he was. It seemed that all the time they spent together over the past few weeks revolved around studying. Yet, the holidays were fast approaching so they’d be on break. She was already finished with her exams. Kevin had his last exam that morning and then they were on break until January. Tonight was almost celebrating their completion of the semester. Plus, it gave them an excuse to see each other without their college textbooks.
* * *
Jaycee was supposed to meet Kevin outside his English class for lunch. As she made her way across campus, she thought about her foreshadowing mood. She couldn’t think of anything that she had to be worried about.
When she turned the corner, he was waiting for her. A smile stretched across her face as he walked toward her. Then, he grabbed her hand as they walked out the building.
“So, how was it?”
He rolled his eyes at her question. “I’m just glad that it’s over.” A grin spread across his face, and he squeezed her hand. “Excited about tonight?”
“Of course I am.” She looked at him hopefully, “What’s the plan for tonight anyway?”
He threw back his head and laughed, “You won’t fool me that easily. I’m not talking.”
“Not even a little hint?”
“Nope,” he said, his lips popping a little on the end of the word.
She pretended to be disappointed in his response, but she really didn’t mind.
* * *
Later that evening, Jaycee found herself pacing around her dorm room. It was unlike Kevin to be late. She tried not to let it get to her. She began to think he may have gotten stuck in traffic when she heard her cell phone go off. She answered the phone before the second ring.
“Kevin, is that you?”
“Hey, baby. Sorry I’m late. Anyway, I’m pulling in right now alright?” She could hear the sound of his car door slamming through the phone.
“Okay, I’ll be right down.” She heard him take a sharp inhale. “Kevin, are you alright?”
He began to whisper quickly, “Jaycee, listen to me. Stay in your room. Do you understand?”
“What are you talking about?” She could hear someone yelling in the background.
“Jaycee, I’m serious. Stay were you-”
She heard the line go dead. She raced down the stairs. Adrenaline was burning through her system. Her heart was ready to beat straight out of her chest.
As soon as she opened the doors outside, she saw him. A look of panic was on his face that Jaycee hoped she would never see again.
The second her eyes met Kevin’s he started yelling, “Jaycee, damn it, what did I tell you?!”
That’s when she saw him. A man stood behind Kevin. His arm was wrapped around his neck. His other hand held a gun. She froze right where she stood. The gunman turned toward her. She watched him grab Kevin’s wallet from his back pocket. Her lungs burned as she continued to hold her breath; too terrified to move a muscle.
The armed man began to back up, unleashing his hold around Kevin’s neck, still keeping his eyes locked on Jaycee. The second he started to turn, she got ready to run. He saw her miniscule movement and turned back around. Jaycee started to run.
“Jaycee, no!”
That’s when she heard it. She heard her own scream fill her ears when the explosion was released from that gun. As if in slow motion, she watched that bullet hit Kevin’s side. She watched his face, painted with agony, as he fell to the ground. She took notice that the gunman ran from the scene. Before she realized she was running, she had already dropped to Kevin’s side.
* * *
Every action she did never registered in her mind. The 911 call, the ambulance arrival, and the ride to the hospital felt like a blur. Now, she sat in the waiting room until Kevin was out of surgery.
She could hear the nurses talking about her. She heard a paramedic say that she’d gone into shock.
Jaycee didn’t know what was going on. All she knew was that the second that bullet came flying out of that gun, she went numb. She couldn’t think, she couldn’t move, and she couldn’t feel. She didn’t even feel alive anymore. She just kept her eyes on the doors, waiting for someone to bring her some news.
* * *
Sometime during the next few hours, Jaycee fell asleep. The sight of Kevin getting shot kept replaying in her mind. Then, she felt something pushing on her.
“Honey, are you alright?”
Jaycee opened her eyes to see a nurse looking at her with a concerned face. She put her hands on her cheeks; they felt wet. She didn’t remember when she’d started crying, but she felt embarrassed to be doing it now.
“Are you alright?” the nurse repeated her question.
Jaycee opened her mouth to speak, but no sound escaped from it. She just nodded and hoped the nurse would believe her. She kneeled so she could look Jaycee in the eye. “Alright, well he’s out of surgery now. You can go in and see him, but he’s still asleep,” she hesitated, “Do you want me to take you to his room?” Again, Jaycee could only nod.
* * *
On the way to Kevin’s room, Jaycee saw a lot of different patients. She studied them as she walked down the hall. That one had a head injury, that one was on a respirator, and she swore she saw a body being wheeled down to the morgue.
Just when she thought she couldn’t stand the sight anymore, the nurse led her through a door. When Jaycee saw Kevin, her head spun. Her heart ached as she saw the different machines hooked to him. She felt her heart slamming against her chest, in perfect time with his.
She sat next to the bed and rested her hand on his. She watched his face for a moment, then looked at the table next to him. She saw an array of objects scattered across it. She looked up at the nurse, while she checked his vitals. “What is all this?”
The nurse glanced at the table that Jaycee was looking at. “Oh, those are just things he had in his pockets.” She pressed a few buttons on the machine. “Are you going to be alright by yourself?”
She considered the question carefully, “Yeah, I think I’ll be fine.”
The nurse smiled slightly and left the room. Jaycee began to rifle through the objects on the table. She saw his car keys, his cell phone, and a small black box.
She picked up the box and held it in her hand. It was the type of box that jewelry usually came in. She considered if she should open it or not. Yet, she found her fingers slowly prying open the box.
When Jaycee looked inside, she dropped the box. She felt her heart lurch. As she sat there, her hand now holding only air, hot tears built up until she couldn’t see anymore. What was inside the box, Jaycee didn’t think she would see for years; a ring.
(Untitled)
She woke to feel his soft breath against her cheek as he whispered, “I love you,” just as he did every morning, before his 9 o’clock English class.
This was the everyday life of Jaycee Barnes, journalism major at (some college), student council representative, and girlfriend to her high school sweetheart, Kevin Johnson.
To Jaycee, the world was her oyster. She didn’t just have confidence, she owned it like it was her own property. Everyone on campus knew it. Her constant upbeat energy was something no one could ignore.
As Jaycee opened her eyes and looked around her room, she smiled. Reminders of things that kept her happy surrounded her room. On her desk sat her laptop. Its pulsing light seemed to remind her of all the journalism articles she’d successfully written with it. On her nightstand stood a picture of Kevin and her. It captured that time in her life when she thought that putting a bright teal streak in her hair would be cool. Kevin would never mention it, but she knew he couldn’t wait for her hair to be normal again.
She crossed the room toward her mirror. She never really considered herself a “pretty girl.” Yet she knew she wasn’t ugly. She glanced at herself for a long time. She tried to think of what Kevin liked about her. She could never see the things that he could. He was constantly telling her how beautiful he thought she was. He described her soft, blonde hair that just passed her shoulders, her tiny frame of a body that seemed to fit perfectly in his arms, or her bright blue eyes that he swears give him chills. Normally, comments such as these caused a blush and a comment about him needing his eyes checked. Yet, secretly, she wished she could see it too.
When Jaycee looked in the mirror, she didn’t see anything that he described. She would classify the short, blonde girl standing in front of her as decent; nothing to look at, but not repulsive.
Today felt somehow different than any other day. Jaycee’s intuitive instincts were going haywire. Something in the pit of her stomach made her nervous about what the day would bring.
It’s nothing. You’re overreacting, she thought.
She tried to put away her nervous feelings. She refused to let it affect her; today of all days. After all, today she had a date with Kevin.
He told her two weeks ago not to make any plans. He looked so excited about it that she almost had to agree. In truth, she was just as ecstatic as he was. It seemed that all the time they spent together over the past few weeks revolved around studying. Yet, the holidays were fast approaching so they’d be on break. She was already finished with her exams. Kevin had his last exam that morning and then they were on break until January. Tonight was almost celebrating their completion of the semester. Plus, it gave them an excuse to see each other without their college textbooks.
* * *
Jaycee was supposed to meet Kevin outside his English class for lunch. As she made her way across campus, she thought about her foreshadowing mood. She couldn’t think of anything that she had to be worried about.
When she turned the corner, he was waiting for her. A smile stretched across her face as he walked toward her. Then, he grabbed her hand as they walked out the building.
“So, how was it?”
He rolled his eyes at her question. “I’m just glad that it’s over.” A grin spread across his face, and he squeezed her hand. “Excited about tonight?”
“Of course I am.” She looked at him hopefully, “What’s the plan for tonight anyway?”
He threw back his head and laughed, “You won’t fool me that easily. I’m not talking.”
“Not even a little hint?”
“Nope,” he said, his lips popping a little on the end of the word.
She pretended to be disappointed in his response, but she really didn’t mind.
* * *
Later that evening, Jaycee found herself pacing around her dorm room. It was unlike Kevin to be late. She tried not to let it get to her. She began to think he may have gotten stuck in traffic when she heard her cell phone go off. She answered the phone before the second ring.
“Kevin, is that you?”
“Hey, baby. Sorry I’m late. Anyway, I’m pulling in right now alright?” She could hear the sound of his car door slamming through the phone.
“Okay, I’ll be right down.” She heard him take a sharp inhale. “Kevin, are you alright?”
He began to whisper quickly, “Jaycee, listen to me. Stay in your room. Do you understand?”
“What are you talking about?” She could hear someone yelling in the background.
“Jaycee, I’m serious. Stay were you-”
She heard the line go dead. She raced down the stairs. Adrenaline was burning through her system. Her heart was ready to beat straight out of her chest.
As soon as she opened the doors outside, she saw him. A look of panic was on his face that Jaycee hoped she would never see again.
The second her eyes met Kevin’s he started yelling, “Jaycee, damn it, what did I tell you?!”
That’s when she saw him. A man stood behind Kevin. His arm was wrapped around his neck. His other hand held a gun. She froze right where she stood. The gunman turned toward her. She watched him grab Kevin’s wallet from his back pocket. Her lungs burned as she continued to hold her breath; too terrified to move a muscle.
The armed man began to back up, unleashing his hold around Kevin’s neck, still keeping his eyes locked on Jaycee. The second he started to turn, she got ready to run. He saw her miniscule movement and turned back around. Jaycee started to run.
“Jaycee, no!”
That’s when she heard it. She heard her own scream fill her ears when the explosion was released from that gun. As if in slow motion, she watched that bullet hit Kevin’s side. She watched his face, painted with agony, as he fell to the ground. She took notice that the gunman ran from the scene. Before she realized she was running, she had already dropped to Kevin’s side.
* * *
Every action she did never registered in her mind. The 911 call, the ambulance arrival, and the ride to the hospital felt like a blur. Now, she sat in the waiting room until Kevin was out of surgery.
She could hear the nurses talking about her. She heard a paramedic say that she’d gone into shock.
Jaycee didn’t know what was going on. All she knew was that the second that bullet came flying out of that gun, she went numb. She couldn’t think, she couldn’t move, and she couldn’t feel. She didn’t even feel alive anymore. She just kept her eyes on the doors, waiting for someone to bring her some news.
* * *
Sometime during the next few hours, Jaycee fell asleep. The sight of Kevin getting shot kept replaying in her mind. Then, she felt something pushing on her.
“Honey, are you alright?”
Jaycee opened her eyes to see a nurse looking at her with a concerned face. She put her hands on her cheeks; they felt wet. She didn’t remember when she’d started crying, but she felt embarrassed to be doing it now.
“Are you alright?” the nurse repeated her question.
Jaycee opened her mouth to speak, but no sound escaped from it. She just nodded and hoped the nurse would believe her. She kneeled so she could look Jaycee in the eye. “Alright, well he’s out of surgery now. You can go in and see him, but he’s still asleep,” she hesitated, “Do you want me to take you to his room?” Again, Jaycee could only nod.
* * *
On the way to Kevin’s room, Jaycee saw a lot of different patients. She studied them as she walked down the hall. That one had a head injury, that one was on a respirator, and she swore she saw a body being wheeled down to the morgue.
Just when she thought she couldn’t stand the sight anymore, the nurse led her through a door. When Jaycee saw Kevin, her head spun. Her heart ached as she saw the different machines hooked to him. She felt her heart slamming against her chest, in perfect time with his.
She sat next to the bed and rested her hand on his. She watched his face for a moment, then looked at the table next to him. She saw an array of objects scattered across it. She looked up at the nurse, while she checked his vitals. “What is all this?”
The nurse glanced at the table that Jaycee was looking at. “Oh, those are just things he had in his pockets.” She pressed a few buttons on the machine. “Are you going to be alright by yourself?”
She considered the question carefully, “Yeah, I think I’ll be fine.”
The nurse smiled slightly and left the room. Jaycee began to rifle through the objects on the table. She saw his car keys, his cell phone, and a small black box.
She picked up the box and held it in her hand. It was the type of box that jewelry usually came in. She considered if she should open it or not. Yet, she found her fingers slowly prying open the box.
When Jaycee looked inside, she dropped the box. She felt her heart lurch. As she sat there, her hand now holding only air, hot tears built up until she couldn’t see anymore. What was inside the box, Jaycee didn’t think she would see for years; a ring.