Trapped.

[LYRiiCs]

I had a dream that I was free,
That I could fly from tree to tree,
That I could spread my silky wings,
And feel like the king of kings.

Yeah this is for my English homework for school, I've got to write* a poem about a bird trapped in a cage, blah blah blah.

If a literary artist could write the rest for me :p
I'd be greatful :] < I don't think any of us would take the time to do that :P

[King cold2]

i dont really like it because of the double words like "tree to tree"

and needs to be longer

6/10

:king cold2:(

[TOXiiCz]

Btw i like but when you *write* something it isnt spelled right, it is write soz for this, great poem... mine rubbish it don't flow well...

[LYRiiCs]

Ok thanks mate, btw that was a human error, changed now :]

[TOXiiCz]

and needs to be longer

6/10

:king cold2:(

Hey read threads before you post, he did say it wasn't finished, and the reason he was posting was to get someone to finish for him, i know you want posts but please in the politest way possible gtfo.

EDIT//

Oh and sorry my rating is 9/10,
where king said he doesnt like the double words, i find this effective, and plus... it just makes a good stanza having that tree to tree thing.

[LYRiiCs]

Hey read threads before you post, he did say it wasn't finished, and the reason he was posting was to get someone to finish for him, i know you want posts but please in the politest way possible gtfo.

Cheers mike, where's your rating :p

[raybie5]

nice start lol

[Shuza]

Not bad for a start, mate.
I'll give it an 8/10.

[LYRiiCs]

Not bad for a start, mate.
I'll give it an 8/10.

Cheers mate, I'm working on it now.
I'll post more when I've done more stanza.

[Zaveski]

That's not very detailed at all sorry.

[kuzmin]

It's rhymes nicely, but short.

[TOXiiCz]

hey i was thinking, take out the king of kings bit, don't sound too good.

[Boylight]

Good idea inside but short.