Lens

[bl4ke]

Lens


Everything is bright
Everything is you
Each corner, looking
Each moment, waiting
A kaleidoscope of colors
A kaleidoscope of emotions
Finally you are there
Finally you are with me.

[TOXiiCz]

I do not like it one slightest bit, the syllables are completely incorrect for this type of poem. I understand the style of poem you tried to create was short and to the point, in my opinion it needs to be a lot longer...

[bl4ke]

thanks mate for the feed back

[Zaveski]

That is just terrible. What were you trying to prove?

[bl4ke]

kinda thought of it lol didnt come out as good as i had it in my head haha