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[I vengance I]

I'd like you to now this is from deep expression, if you want to hate close this thread now.
This is a song made by me, its accapella so you wont be able to visualize the beat, but hopefully the words have meaning.

Somewhere

Somewhere... Somewhere...
i ben looking for this place
Somewhere were i can go hide
to run away from reality
and never find my mind

Chorus x2
I been running my whole life
and nothings ever changed
Just wanna find this place
this special special place

I can find myself
when i go away
i can run on my own and forget my pain
my head feels clearer
but it's hard to stay awake
i need you to take me to my special place

Chorus x2
I been running my whole life
and nothings ever changed
Just wanna find this place
this special special place

Ohhh oh oh oh
please help me fall asleep
if im dreaming leave me sleep
if im awake can you take me to my bed
so i can rest my head
and sail away
and sail away
i don't wanna come back
tryna find my heart
im digging digging deeper
but it just keeps on fallin apart
ohhhhh
i wanna stay and never come back.
The words expressed above are copyrite to "i_vengance_i"

Thats what came out of me at the time, i love composing my own songs. and its interesting to see what comes out.
Rate or hate please.
(1 or 2 slang words have been used.)

[Marisa]

This is pretty good. I'd suggest going through and fixing spelling errors though. Otherwise, I think it's nice.

Oh, at one point you say:
please help me fall asleep
if im dreaming leave me sleep

If I were you, I'd try to change the second line so that way "asleep" isn't rhyming with "sleep." If needed, you could do a psuedo-rhyme. I like the line, it's just when you say "leave me sleep" it kind of sounds weird.

Great job though.

[I vengance I]

Thanks yeah thats the line i got stuck on, i think I'm keeping it like that though. like i mentioned there are 2 words in there which are slag "ben" and "fallin" as you now when singing Been and ben are two different words lyrically.

[K 0 3 D]

Really good, lol I would never be able to do anything as good as that

[I vengance I]

thanks lol.

[Marisa]

Thanks yeah thats the line i got stuck on, i think I'm keeping it like that though. like i mentioned there are 2 words in there which are slag "ben" and "fallin" as you now when singing Been and ben are two different words lyrically.

Just a suggestion. And yeah, I know what you mean. I've been singing for a number of years. Still a nice piece of work though. :)