DarkSeraphim
02-22-2009, 09:55 PM
"Bye Jake" Shouted Christy when we passed my house. I noticed that both of my parents were home. I opened the front door and put my bad down.
"Hey guys I'm home." I shouted.
"Son come here." My dad hadn't called me that since I was 3. Mom looked like she had been crying, while dad looked like he hadn't slept in a week.
"Jake we need to tell you something." I almost didn't understand mom.
"Yes son we do, though you might not believe it." It seemed like dad was going to take control of the situation.
"What dad?" I noticed how nervous I was, and tried to calm down.
"Son you might not believe what we are about to tell you but it's the truth. I want you to know your mom and I still love you." I could tell he was having trouble speaking. I was getting nervous now, what is going on?
"Susan would you like to tell him?"
"Yes, I would." She turned her gaze towards me and continued to speak.
"Jake, When you were younger you were very sick. You had a heart condition known as Cardiomyopathy. The muscle in your heart was weak, and no one wanted to operate on a baby. A man approached us and told us that he knew a way to heal you. You have to understand we were desperate, the doctor said you had another three days to live. This guy told us it would cost us $50,000 for the treatment. Your grandmother had just died and left us just enough to pay him. We got you back and you were healthy, the doctors didn't know what happened. "
Mom stopped to take a breathe in. I was absorbed into the story thinking it was a joke, a good one at that.
"We went to visit the man and he gave us a letter. We asked him what he did and he told us he made you..."
Tell me what you think, and post corrections you think I should make. Also, Don't you just love the cliffhanger?
"Hey guys I'm home." I shouted.
"Son come here." My dad hadn't called me that since I was 3. Mom looked like she had been crying, while dad looked like he hadn't slept in a week.
"Jake we need to tell you something." I almost didn't understand mom.
"Yes son we do, though you might not believe it." It seemed like dad was going to take control of the situation.
"What dad?" I noticed how nervous I was, and tried to calm down.
"Son you might not believe what we are about to tell you but it's the truth. I want you to know your mom and I still love you." I could tell he was having trouble speaking. I was getting nervous now, what is going on?
"Susan would you like to tell him?"
"Yes, I would." She turned her gaze towards me and continued to speak.
"Jake, When you were younger you were very sick. You had a heart condition known as Cardiomyopathy. The muscle in your heart was weak, and no one wanted to operate on a baby. A man approached us and told us that he knew a way to heal you. You have to understand we were desperate, the doctor said you had another three days to live. This guy told us it would cost us $50,000 for the treatment. Your grandmother had just died and left us just enough to pay him. We got you back and you were healthy, the doctors didn't know what happened. "
Mom stopped to take a breathe in. I was absorbed into the story thinking it was a joke, a good one at that.
"We went to visit the man and he gave us a letter. We asked him what he did and he told us he made you..."
Tell me what you think, and post corrections you think I should make. Also, Don't you just love the cliffhanger?