Life

[rhyme]

Is this my last breath
my lips moving so slow
my arms lay limp
my hands so cold
my neck so stiff
my heart stops beating
Noises in my head
getting louder
im looking up
i want to touch you
i want to tell you
my eyes slowly close

I....

I.....

Die......

[Colin]

Mistakes:
Nioses should be Noises
Nech should be Neck

7/10 - Nice try, improvements can be made though, try and critique it a bit.

[rhyme]

it was a first try, about a guy who will die Regardless

Bassically it means, when your times up and your sitting there in your death bed, theres nothing you can do apart from accept it.

The biggest fear for all people is knowing one day, that will be you.

[rhyme]

BUMP! - Now im going to bed night all x

[XX aelita XX]

This sucks. and btw you ripped my poem. Ripper.

[rhyme]

This sucks. and btw you ripped my poem. Ripper.

Dude are u a idiot, i posted this 2 days before you posted your poem


@Member of dodian Staff can you close this topic please,

[Xzite]

Pretty good 6/10.
Watch your spelling though.:rolleyes:

[XX aelita XX]

Yours
'02-27-2009, 01:47 PM
Mine
02-26-2009, 08:57 PM

Noob much?

For your proof
http://dodian.com/forums/showthread.php?t=51912

Thats mine

[K and O]

Yours
'02-27-2009, 01:47 PM
Mine
02-26-2009, 08:57 PM

Noob much?

For your proof
http://dodian.com/forums/showthread.php?t=51912

Thats mine

Do you have to Spam EVERY thread you post in? He has the same title.. So what. Do you know the meaning of a ripper? It means the exact same poem, they're different from each other.

[XX aelita XX]

Then why does he post in my one that i rip?

[K and O]

Then why does he post in my one that i rip?

Because he's an idiot.

[grimreaper]

to me this is a truely amazing poem, for a first try this is amazing, u other ppl may give it a 6-7/10, i give it a 9.5/10, keep up the good work and ill give u a 10/10.