you were my best friend

[AquaFear09]

You were my best friend
You were my best friend.
To bad you gave up and said the end
Now you're in a wooden box.
I could have died myself from a hundred shocks.

The coffin lowers into the hell-like flames.
I remember the good times the partys and raves.
I really wish i could have said bye.
When i think of how you died i brake down onto my knees and cry.

You didnt deserve to die.
You were so kind, so shy;
I thought one day you would be very strong,
But you just proved us all wrong.



Thanks for reading

[Star Limited]

Nice your poems are getting better by the minute.

look at my one daily night :D

[h2ker]

Nice Poem even better :p

[AquaFear09]

thanks guys!!!!!! much appreciated

[Colin]

Now your in a wooden box.


Your = You're

There is a difference between "your" and "you're".


When i think of how you died i brake down onto my knees and cry.


brake = break

Everyday mistake, no need to worry, won't affect you.


9/10 - I liked this poem, it had that jive to it that pleasured me. Nice work Aquafear09.

[AquaFear09]

Thanks masu much abligied lol i have that problem irl work at school :p

[Max]

Some of the stanzas don't make sence, but it's ok 7/10

[TOXiiCz]

Nice your poems are getting better by the minute.

^^^^^^^^^^^
No they are not...

I cannot express enough, my disapointment with the literary aspirers within this community.
The rapid poetry posting is really frustrating me, take time on your submissions and make sure they are presented to the best standard possible.
I do not like the 'sloppyness', it is too 'wishy washy', the sylables are not structured correctly.

[AquaFear09]

thanks for the ratings guys and girls