Wanted!

[Star Limited]

I go outside,
it was as if someone had died,
everything was quiet,
apart from my brain in a riot.

it was time to come back in,
to tell my mum about my sin,
i started to tell,
and my mum began to yell.

The police were outside,
i had to hide,
i went upstairs and hid in the loft,
then i landed on something soft.

i came from the loft,
from the ball of soft,
to find a sign,
saying i was wanted.

[Cs Forum]

3/10
You could of done much better in my opinion.

[Star Limited]

read my other poems this has been my only bad rated one :(

[sasa774]

I like it :) i would give 7/10 !

[AquaFear09]

8/10 now rate all of the poems in my sig!

[Colin]

5/10 - In my opinion, it was not that great. You should spend more time on your work and enhance your vocaublary. The last part you could revise and make it better, other than that nice work.

[Star Limited]

thanks for advice when i make more i will :D

[TOXiiCz]

Poems lose their meaning when people attempt to make them rhyme.
Here is a chalenge for you from me, make a poem in which has no rhyme of any kind.

[Max]

hmm, not too good.. 5/10 keep working.

[Teh Chef]

That was intense... :o

[not def n00b]

it's ok 7/10

[h2ker]

Star thats got 2 be the Worst one u made
Iv seen you do alot Better Keep Trying :D

The Rhyme Made it Kinda Weird Becouse it was on and off
5/10 Your others are better