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Star Limited
03-08-2009, 04:21 PM
Once you snap the twig,
you begin to leave the world,
the light takes you to the skys,
and the angels start to cry.

When your up above,
The gates begin to open,
and that is when,
you cross the bridge of heaven.

Colin
03-08-2009, 04:24 PM
7/10 - Your poems are quite repetitive, format your poems into four stanzas to make them a little more professional. My advice; cultivate a story.

Star Limited
03-08-2009, 04:24 PM
Yes i promise mate the next poem i do it will have four stanzas :D

RockOnDude
03-08-2009, 04:27 PM
Yes i promise mate the next poem i do it will have four stanzas :D

Too short. Add some feelings. If you don't wanna show feelings try a little emotion, may i remind you i am a literary artist myself.