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View Full Version : My Story. (Prelogue)


KxWarrior
03-23-2009, 09:26 AM
Yeah, I'm writing a story. Art persuaded me to post it here (not really, he said it was good.) I'll be trying to post a chapter a day...in the end, 30 chapters...if at all possible. Here you guys go, the no-named story. (C)2005-2009 Gates of Survival, biznitches.

He looked at her quickly, then turned away. "What are you thinking you fool?" he thought quietly to himself. "She would never like someone like you, you're too much of a loser." The thought of himself calling himself a loser overwhelmed him sometimes, but he got over this feeling. As he kept staring at her from across the way, a feeling of nausea set into his stomach. The feeling of what he felt as "butterflies" penetrated him like a gunshot wound. "Is this love or something? It feels so weird to like someone, but be hurt at the same time." He was thinking, paying no attention to the teacher at the front of the class, talking of something about something. Out of nowhere though, it hit him. "I can't let myself be like this, maybe she feels the same, but she's in the situation that I'm in." The bell was taking longer to ring then normal today, the seconds went by like minutes, minutes like hours, and the hour like a year. He felt himself aging, which he did not particularly like. "One minute," he thought to himself silently, "One more minute, and I can get out of here." The bell buzzed, and everyone almost simultaneously picked up their books and bags, and headed out the class, except two people. He walked over to her, and asked,

"What do you have next?" She looked down at her shoes and mumbled,

"I think I have math, what do you have?"

"I'm going down to shop class, do you want me to walk with you?" She looked startled, as normally, the only person to talk to her were her teachers, asking of her moving. Then she started beaming as she said,

"Yeah, I'd love that." They started walking down the hallway, and she asked him,
"Why are you being so nice to me?" He looked rather dumbfounded at the question, and he replied back quickly,

"Well, you're an awesome girl, and, personally, you're not like most. You have that, I don't know, I guess that aura, that says you're not really an ignorant snob."
She giggled at the thought of the ignorant snobs, and looked at him very seriously when she said,

"You know, you're alright, for a guy. Most of the guys I talk to end up pushing me down a staircase, or something to that extent." He looked in front of him, as the staircase came to the 3rd floor, and he said with a twinkle in his eye,
"Well I still can, if you want me to."
She smiled, and they walked down to the end of the hallway on the 2nd floor.
"Well, this is your stop," he said. "Damn it kiss her!" He thought in his head frantically. "She's right there, and you're going to let her get away like this? This is crazy this is --". His thoughts emptied out as she pulled herself up to his lips, and sealed them tightly. It seemed like an age, whenever the bell rang, she released him, as they both blushed, him feeling numb, her feeling satisfied.

"Well, I appear to have made you late, so, sorry," as she put her head down, he lifted hers, before kissing her again, he said,

"Actually, that was what i was looking forward to, all day." and he walked away, with a wide grin on his face.

A r t
03-23-2009, 09:29 AM
Absolutly amazing starter, i want to see this on paperback and published!!! keep going ken this is awsome!

KxWarrior
03-23-2009, 09:30 AM
Hope so. That took me too long to write

coder sal
03-23-2009, 09:44 AM
What the ****. Definitely not reading that. Double-space it, organize it with colors of faggotry, then I will understand clearly.

MuG OwnZ
03-23-2009, 09:46 AM
Coder sal stfu mK?

Kx it was awesome, i like the story line

KxWarrior
03-23-2009, 09:50 AM
colors of faggotry? You sir, can get the hell out of my thread, if you are going to be like that.

The spacing? Gladly, i'll do that with pleasure, but do not bash my story because you're a lazy prick and can't read something.

Oh yeah, to the double spacing? No, you aren't my teacher, and i will not doublespace something that is NOT an essay.

liljon9090
03-23-2009, 09:51 AM
Wow,I like it a lot. I hope to see more of it soon? :D

KxWarrior
03-23-2009, 09:52 AM
Now that its edited, and the colors of faggotry not being in there, Yes, it is done for now, and a chapter everyday from this point on

A r t
03-23-2009, 09:53 AM
Codersal, Get off dodian much ? why post your negative posts here, this is a story, do you go into a book shop open a book and say hmm, more colour, space it and more picture..


enought said?

- - - - - A R T - - - - -

ynnaD
03-23-2009, 10:00 AM
Don't listen to coder sal, the story is awesome.Hope you finish it soon!

KxWarrior
03-23-2009, 10:39 AM
Thank you. I hope more people post some feedbax.

Nordinwanabe
03-23-2009, 11:16 AM
realy nice!! kx cant wait for next 29 chapters :)

Jesse
03-23-2009, 09:36 PM
Hey Coder Sal:

**** off.

See you in 3 days.

feared skill
03-23-2009, 09:37 PM
Not bad Not bad at all.

cold fire
03-23-2009, 09:43 PM
I like it. if it ever becomes a book i'd probably read it. 8/10.

Shuza
03-23-2009, 09:48 PM
Great story in my opinion, good job Kx.

ILose
03-23-2009, 09:57 PM
awesome i would like to read it really, sounds awesome i can't wait for the next chapter!:o:):D

Sherpa2Chris
03-23-2009, 10:02 PM
I usually don't care for a love story, but this one (so far) interests me. You'll have to work a lot on that book to be able to write it in a month. How long do you expect the chapters to be?
What the ****. Definitely not reading that. Double-space it, organize it with colors of faggotry, then I will understand clearly.What's wrong with you? How can you not understand the greatness of this soon-to-be novel?

KxWarrior
03-24-2009, 08:23 AM
Lol thank you so much Sherpa. It means alot if you normally DONT read things like this, and you have an actual opinion, then. hell :P it must be good. I don't plan on finishing it in a month, its just an estimated time, because i know i'll have things to do, such as me being busy on my weekends working, and hanging out with people. I more of intend this to be a short-novel-story thing. lol. But thank you, it does mean something when you type.


@ Benz: I'm glad you've come here to get rid of sal but, did you read my story? :P

@Else: Thanks for reading guys

@Viewers: Read it moar, i need feedbax

MrStix
03-24-2009, 10:51 AM
Wow, I love it Ken this is defnately for you. That is amazing. Nice little flirt flirt in it then ba, kiss! Heh, nice man. Good job. 8/10

TOXiiCz
03-24-2009, 12:19 PM
The one thing I guess stood out for me was that you have an excelent understanding in writing dialogue...
The speech in the story is so Interesting, Literary Artist please?

KxWarrior
03-24-2009, 12:20 PM
:P I guess that's because my english teacher forcably made me write stories.

tu vu1
03-24-2009, 12:20 PM
what a story men its amazing lol!

KxWarrior
03-24-2009, 12:21 PM
did you read it?

Embrace
03-27-2009, 11:19 AM
I liked the story a lot, kind of like every boys dream in class...I know in almost every grade I've been in, I've looked at a girl and thought the exact same thoughts...:D Well written, and a simply enjoyable read...9/10...:) MORE