Empty_Hearted

[KxWarrior]

Yeah, im getting into some depressing love poems. But you know what, suck my ****. I get into moods where if i write my feelings, they help me..So rate/hate.

My knees begin to fold,
I realize i have you not to hold.
But not at all, anymore,
It was my heart, you have tore.

You wanted to be with another,
you lied, you were a good actor,
but using people to help you,
this accusation just can't be true.

To have two people tell me,
these things i just can't believe,
Make me ponder of your loyalty,
And it makes me disbelieve.

Are you really here for my love?
Or is this just a game, to shove
my feelings, back into my face,
and make me wish to forgot this place.

I don't wish to believe this,
the one true girl I long to kiss,
I trust you will be in the right,
or I will be the one to take flight.

[venomic]

Nice one dude, its okay to talk about your feelings...=\ 10/10 <3 ;)

[XX aelita XX]

I could feel the emotion. Amazing.
10/10. Keep it up.

[KxWarrior]

there, punctuation and I/i errors fixed

Now rate it

[Squarepants]

That was great , 10/10
I'ts alot better than what i can do:P.

[XX aelita XX]

there, punctuation and I/i errors fixed

Now rate it
Still not fixed. Look closely.

[shadow123]

thats nice i like it 10/10

[PureLemon]

trust you will be in the right

i don't like that line, it doesn't make sense.

[KxWarrior]

how doesn't it.

I trust that she will be in the right

simple as the fact of "She will be true, instead of fake"

[King of Fros]

I like it 10/10.

[Xzite]

Nice work,Kxwarrior. Keep improving.
I like it 10/10.
Yves, Nothing could be 10/10, Theres always room for improvement.

[King of Fros]

Nice work,Kxwarrior. Keep improving.

Yves, Nothing could be 10/10, Theres always room for improvement.
Why so serious ?lol

[Colin]

What is "right" refering to in "I trust you will be in the right". Sounds a little weird.

9/10 - Some parts make me question, nice work though.

[KxWarrior]

Thanks. I was in a very bad mood writing it

[Elique Zaven]

I'm not a fan of serious poems being countlessly rhymed but, it actually turns out to mean something other forty verses of words mixed together.

Good.

[King of Fros]

I was in a very bad mood writing it
I wonder why:no:

[KxWarrior]

Do you really wonder why?

I could let you know

[David]

Ken, there's nothing wrong with expressing you feelings into a poem, if anything I believe it helps more. Great work Ken. 10/10

[OwnagE1337]

Amazing Poem, keep it up Ken.

10/10 ;]

[briese]

There are several small errors to be fixed, but if they were fixed then I'd have to say that it's a very good poem. At the end of the first stanza, grammatical rules say you should use the word 'torn' instead of 'tore', though it doesn't fit the rhyming scheme...good commitment, but you may just want to replace it. In other places the rhyming scheme falters here and there ('believe' and 'disbelieve' is sort of weak). If this is to be taken as an emotional rant to get things off of your chest, then decent poem, and I hope it worked. :)

[Nottz]

I honestly didn't like it as much as your other works, mainly due to me not being a fan of depressing poety, along with the slight grammar errors and rhythm problems. It seems a bit generic in nature, and rather than expressing your feelings about the matter, it seems like you did a narrative on what happened. If this was intentional, I apologize. More imagery could've been used, but overall it was O.K. Certainly doesn't deserve a 10/10 in my eyes.

7/10

[robert7315]

Very nice!@