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Ubiquitous
04-17-2009, 06:29 PM
Chapter 2 of The Awakened.
The Awakened is a story I decided to write once I was told my poems are like stories. I will be posting chapters as I write the story. If you enjoy it, dislike it, or have advice please post. Enjoy!

"Good afternoon class, welcome to Mythology. My name is Mr. Sang, in my class we will discuss myths." The way this guy said myths was as if it was a bad word. Mr. Sang was tall, had blond hair, pale, and irresistible. He might have been in his twenties, he had a very think French accent. He looked everyone over with a hungry look.
"This is how my class works, I will teach you 4 out of 5 days. on the fifth day you will begin, and complete a project on that weeks topic. If a topic takes more then 4 days you will be given 2 days for the assignment. Does anyone not understand?" He looked around the room, he looked at Rose for a moment. Rose is naturally tan, short, and good looking. He went over to her, plucking a note from her hands. He read the note, and laughed. Rose seemed to become really red.
"My class will not be overly difficult, and some of you may even think delicious." At that Rose became as red as a rose.
We began the first lesson, we learned about trolls. It was horrible, he talked about how trolls rape females. It was boring, and I had to go through 3 more days of it. The bell rang right before he started to talk about a trolls diet. I walked to my car a Lexus LF-A. My dad owned a construction business, largest in New York. I waited for Christy, while waiting I was thinking. The new teacher had some issues, and I had to find out what. Also, Christy and Adam had to break up at all costs. I saw Christy and Adam holding hands, and walking towards me.
"Hey Christy do you still need a ride?" I shouted at her. She either didn't hear me, or ignored me. She walked up to my car with Adam.
"Bye Adam." She leaned over and gave him a hug.
"Bye Chris." Adam went in to kiss her, but she moved out of the way. Christy opened the door and sat down. I started to drive away, when I noticed the stranger talking to Rose. I drove out of the lot, and started to drive towards Christy's house. Half way there I stopped at an ice cream store.
"What are you doing?" Christy asked.
"I'm getting ice cream, want any?" I asked
"No, hurry up."
I went in and got a chocolate ice cream, with hot fudge, and whipped cream. I sat down and started thinking about life. Christy walked in around 15 minutes later.
"What are you doing?" She almost shouted at me.
"I'm eating ice cream." I said, acting as if I didn't care.
"Drive me home!"
"Wait a minute." Then I had an idea, it would either be my greatest decision ever or worst.
"Christy, sit down for a second."

Uldine
04-17-2009, 06:37 PM
sounds great so far. the only thing i dont like, is how jake is not really explained so far. he seems to have absolutly no depth. Christy on the other hand, sounds like the cliche girl, who lieks a guy, but doesnt like the main character, and it pisses him off.


and Adam, jsut sounds like someone i know, i just dont know who...

Either way, great chapters ;p. Is this supposed to be a short novel?

8/10

Ubiquitous
04-17-2009, 06:39 PM
Jake is not meant to be established at this time. What I am establishing is the plot, which is still unknown.

Uldine
04-17-2009, 06:40 PM
i see.

so you're experimenting with your plotline as well?

Do you have an idea on where it's going?

Ubiquitous
04-17-2009, 06:45 PM
Yes, but if I told you it would destroy the entire point of reading my story. I did give hints to who the stranger is, you just have to read every sentence concerning him clearly. Though, after that I doubt you will understand where I am going with this.

Uldine
04-17-2009, 06:58 PM
its best i scim this then.

that way i dont spoil myself

Ubiquitous
04-19-2009, 04:07 AM
Lol I guess you can skim it. Also I feel really bad for starting this story fest.