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Johno
05-03-2009, 07:04 AM
War

The will, the strength and the determination,
No scarce feelings,
Thus far they are eager to be of assistance.

Saving our nation is there obligation,
Man power is at dispense,
Shooting hand by hand,

Government officials scream,
Soldiers shoot, enemies die,
A cry of hope, Vanquished.

A life of memories will not be forgotten,
Sadness will not be shown,
The conflict is for the true man,
War.

Not one of my best, What do you think?
Master Mind
05-03-2009, 07:26 AM
8/10,

Very good. Would be 9/10 if it ryhmed.
Johno
05-03-2009, 07:32 AM
8/10,

Very good. Would be 9/10 if it ryhmed.

Thanks, But this poem is not to be rhymed.
Johno
05-03-2009, 09:29 AM
Poems are not suppose to ryhme. That is just a style of writing one. This poem deserves a 10/10. You Master Mind have just proofed you know nothing about poetry seeing as how you think all of the poems are so awesome if they ryhme.

Thanks for the thumbs up.
Boylight
05-03-2009, 09:32 AM
It remains to be sensitive,also very true.

Keep using your best spelling skills.
Johno
05-03-2009, 11:23 AM
It remains to be sensitive,also very true.

Keep using your best spelling skills.

Thanks, will do.
Colin
05-03-2009, 04:39 PM
Your work is amazing, truely.

One thing though: "there" should be spelled "their".

I want to see a story from you though.
Kreepy
05-03-2009, 06:15 PM
You have amazing word choice. Keep it up. 10/10.
Master Mind
05-03-2009, 08:29 PM
Poems are not suppose to ryhme. That is just a style of writing one. This poem deserves a 10/10. You Master Mind have just proofed you know nothing about poetry seeing as how you think all of the poems are so awesome if they ryhme.
Um, I just like them rhyimg, you may have your own opinions. Now how about you shut the **** up? I do know alot, and I don't care if their not suppose to rhyme. Thats how I ****en like them.
Ultra Raver
05-04-2009, 12:11 AM
8/10,

Very good. Would be 9/10 if it ryhmed.

A poem does have to rhyme to be good, a poem is good if it has meaning...

Also, 9/10, great poem.
Johno
05-04-2009, 01:50 AM
Thanks all for the positive comments.

Masuraki, I might be able to write a story at a later date, Thanks for posting the error.
Nottz
05-04-2009, 02:18 AM
This is... better? You are trying to pull these out of your ass rather than make meaningful poems that look good. Try harder Soundwave, or I'll have to stop rating your poems. D=