How did you get so bright?

[Vishaan]

A book left open,
The pages are blank,
The pages torn,
The cover is black.

A pen left lying,
Covered with ink,
The writing set over,
The words they attract.

A chair awaiting,
The ready-made man.
The thoughts are opening,
For the ink, it bleeds.

A man is thinking,
Over a starlit night,
He says tell me moon,
How did you get so bright?

As bright as the stars,
As bright as the sky,
Tell me moon,
How did you get so bright?

[Fancy Pants]

its a odd poem for me
just because of the fact you either change the scheme of it all
or you didnt kno blank didnt ryhme with black?

idk 5/10

[Vishaan]

its a odd poem for me
just because of the fact you either change the scheme of it all
or you didnt kno blank didnt ryhme with black?

idk 5/10

Just because it's a poem doesn't mean it has to rhyme. The rest of the stanza's rhymed by accident.

Honestly you hadn't the time to really read over that, I just posted like 5 minutes ago.

Also, this is the works in progress section.

[swish270]

its a odd poem for me
just because of the fact you either change the scheme of it all
or you didnt kno blank didnt ryhme with black?

idk 5/10

Poems Don't have to Rhyme..

[Fancy Pants]

I didnt understand why it did in parts and didnt in others =\

[Mko]

I like your poem!
8/10, you could and should make it longer.

[Vishaan]

Because I chose those words, and they fit the best for the purpose I was using them for.

[Fancy Pants]

ok thanks for explaining now overlooking that and reading it through this is all i gotta say.........................





OMG DUDE MAKE IT LONGER SO NICE!!!!
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
8/10

[Vishaan]

ok thanks for explaining now overlooking that and reading it through this is all i gotta say.........................





OMG DUDE MAKE IT LONGER SO NICE!!!!
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
8/10

Hm.

I will, I'm just not really in the mood, and, after looking through some of the words, I will probably change some of them. Just finding more meaningful words will be a little more difficult.

[XX aelita XX]

I just got put off when you said, 'the pen is black'

Up until then there was a really nice flow. That ruined it.

[Vishaan]

I just got put off when you said, 'the pen is black'

Up until then there was a really nice flow. That ruined it.

Hm

Such is life.

I'm still apathetic towards finding new words. I think I'm going to change a bit of it. Thank you Aelita


*EDIT*

I revised a couple lines.

What do you think?

[Tokaru]

Not bad. I think you had great flow until "the pen is black." You really can't, well you can, but, you really shouldn't use practical statements. It's like stopping in the middle of the poem and saying "This is a Tree." Clever stanzas that have a meaning behind the words make a great poem, but good job for the most part. Keep up the good work. 7/10.