Two old poems..

[Gimmeyoshoez]

Her Walk

Add up a mile to that walk
Take a good look at my hands
Running back to the beginning
All I want is to hold on to you

We'll rush to the end
No matter how long it takes
Awaiting the cold breeze to come in
The lonely road seems easy now

Strongly passing by
Can't learn to let go
Won't try to let go
Our moment is here
Just don't let go

What do we really want?

The stones seem cold
Our arms are shaking
Seek the sweet castle
That brings a warm abode

Why bother another left out run
It's just breaking us to pieces
I use her heart to get there
She aches me to keep on rollin'

I'll go with her to death
The side can't stop me
To my left a comfy couch
To the right a hot meal

Take a chance at both
Ends up pulling me apart
Choosing her is an equivalent
or more to taking all

[Zaveski]

I can see both points in these, maybe a tad bit off topic when you enter a new stanza but I think they are both very good.

[Apathy]

I think these poems could have been better if you would have added rhyme to the end of each line, but you did a good job for your first poems.:D

[Zaveski]

I think these poems could have been better if you would have added rhyme to the end of each line, but you did a good job for your first poems.:D

Those aren't his first, he's a very good story writer on a site we're on.

[Gimmeyoshoez]

The site is noneofurbwax/
pls join.

[Apathy]

Ok, well I like your poetry anyway.:D

[Gimmeyoshoez]

Thanks!

Yours is nice aswell.

[Apathy]

Thank you.;)

[Mutilate]

To be frank, i didnt like it very much. It just was so plain and boring

5/10

[Gimmeyoshoez]

I don't see how its plain at all...