Lotm Entry...

[AquaFear09]

The Beauty

An aura of sweet loving essence surrounds you.
The soothing, comforting words you whisper into the sensetive ear.
Skin as soft as a blanket soaring over the body in wich you lay in.
A touch so cushiony shivers run down the spine.

Bright blue eyes delving into the eyes of the distant gazers.
For ever more has a search come to an end;
The true lady of the moon.
Appears in front of the arches of love.

Cruel it may be that only one man can win her love.
Treating her every desire
The true love of two humans.
Contains beauty un-explainable.

[The Artist]

I love this poem, but to me I think you should change it to something more unique.
Read my story, I think its different.
Good luck in the competition.

[AquaFear09]

Thanks Artist I might indeed nip over and take a glimpse.

[The Artist]

Alright, thanks Aqua.
Tell me what I should add.

[AquaFear09]

Thanks will do mate

~Aqua

[Mutilate]

There was very little rhyme or flow. Sometimes you can sacrafice larger words and complex phrases and actually add to a poem. It doesn't have to be fancy

6/10

[Kreepy]

Nodbartholem, not all poems have to Rhyme. Tbh I love this poem also. Your word choice suits it. Great job man, you will do good in LOTM.

[Mutilate]

Nodbartholem, not all poems have to Rhyme.


Read the poem aloud and you'll see that it doesn't have to much flow.
I understand that not every poem has to rhyme. Just a mental lapse. :'(

[Kreepy]

I must have read it wrong lol. It's flow is off. I love his word choice though. (back to Aqua) Put a lot more work into this. Like Nobratholem said, read it out loud. I want this LOTM to be good.