Killing

[MuG OwnZ]

killing is something hard to describe
thiers so much anger
but yet so little reason for anger.
Killing is a terrible thing
when you do it
you dont wonder why
but when its over
you crash in emotions
You are forever damaged
constantly running
from the fate the beholds you.
You leave everything behind
just because of one mistake
that toke you inecense forever.
Killing for some is an accident
a twist of fate
a job
a rampage
a disgrace

[Angel]

No offense but..

Writing a sentence in a bunch of lines doesn't count as a literary piece of work, and that's all it looks like to me. It doesn't really tell much of a story, nor portray much emotion.

You've got some work to do, particularly on how you show emotion in your pieces, as well as how those emotions flow with the blocking.

Angel

[MuG OwnZ]

No offense but..

Writing a sentence in a bunch of lines doesn't count as a literary piece of work, and that's all it looks like to me. It doesn't really tell much of a story, nor portray much emotion.

You've got some work to do, particularly on how you show emotion in your pieces, as well as how those emotions flow with the blocking.

Angel

Ok thanks...

[briese]

On the plus side, you spelled some of the words correctly.

[David]

I dont partic like it, its just like a bunch of words threw together.

[The Artist]

You need a lot of work.
That was just random sentences acting like a peom.

[Mutilate]

this is extremely random, you spelled alot wrong, and had very little capitalization.

[NinjaCat]

You shouldin't make the poem by 1 line's it looks ugly,
and you have spelling mistakes you should re-read it before you post and there should be a period at the end of a story or paragraph.

[br3nzstaker]

sorry but it still needs some work