Lighting Darkness

[XX aelita XX]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
_______________________________

The light always refrains of a fright,
The sparking power shines so bright,
Away from the dark; death and hate,
To compell this light, is the luck of fate.

We can see the light as we travel around,
An eclipse in hatrid, light and dark, a compound,
I am sure in this darkness we will endeavour,
Because nothing can stop us from lasting forever.

An eclipse can take this light to shine,
With this light and this dark, we combine,
Hero, villain, It's not my fight,
Because what seperates us all, is light.

Why does the light attack all the dark?
How does the dark leave a deadly, horrid mark?
Why does our misery bring upon this dark day?
The fight must go on, continue, I pray.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Kreepy]

Hmmm I loved how you described it. Your word choice was simply amazing. I enjoyed reading this all the way through. You are good, I give you that. 10/10.

[Mutilate]

^^^^^^^^^^

True dat!

Perfect score 10/10

I can't describe how beastly it was

[Chris]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
_______________________________

The light always refrains of a fright,
The sparking power shines so bright,
Away from the dark; death and hate,
To compell this light, is the luck of fate.

We can see the light as we travel around,
An eclipse in hatrid, light and dark, a compound,
I am sure in this darkness we will endeavour,
Because nothing can stop us from lasting forever.

An eclipse can take this light to shine,
With this light and this dark, we combine,
Hero, villain, It's not my fight,
Because what seperates us all, is light.

Why does the light attack all the dark?
How does the dark leave a deadly, horrid mark?
Why does our misery bring upon this dark day?
The fight must go on, continue, I pray.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

First paragraph:

-Fix the word "compell". It should be "compel"

Second paragraph:

-"An eclipse in hatrid, light and dark, a compound," The comma after compound should be a period.

Third paragraph:

-"With this light and this dark, we combine," The comma after combine should be a period.

-"Hero, villain, It's not my fight," The letter "I" on "It's" should not be capitalized, as it is not proper.

-"Because what seperates us all, is light." "Seperates" should be "Separates.

Fourth paragraph:

-"Why does the light attack all the dark?" It would sound better if it was either "Why does the light attack the dark?", or "Why does the light attack all of the dark?"

So, Norbartholem and Kreepy, you can now see that no piece of work can possibly be a 10/10.

Also, Kreepy, you being a literary artist, I'd assume you'd know such a thing.

[EnviedWisdom]

Oh I get it. When you're a Literary artist you don't post any poems, then you're stripped of your rank and you start posting again.

This piece isn't as good as people are saying it is.
Like Rendered said, it's nowhere near a 10/10, more like a 6/10.

There is quite a few spelling mistakes and some not-so-good sounding sentence structures.

Improve, fast.

[XX aelita XX]

Oh I get it. When you're a Literary artist you don't post any poems, then you're stripped of your rank and you start posting again.

This piece isn't as good as people are saying it is.
Like Rendered said, it's nowhere near a 10/10, more like a 6/10.

There is quite a few spelling mistakes and some not-so-good sounding sentence structures.

Improve, fast.
**** off Lyriicz. I submitted around three pieces of work in time being literary artist. Also, if you're trying to find people like that, look at Rendered, or Every1die4. People that haven't submitted poems in months. There are only few decent literaries left.

[EnviedWisdom]

**** off Lyriicz. I submitted around three pieces of work in time being literary artist. Also, if you're trying to find people like that, look at Rendered, or Every1die4. People that haven't submitted poems in months. There are only few decent literaries left.

Person #2 accusing me of being this lyricz kid.
Stop now, because you're going to be proved wrong in the end.

[Jesse]

Aelita, stop whining. Fix this piece of **** you call a poem or don't talk about 'good'.

[XX aelita XX]

Aelita, stop whining. Fix this piece of **** you call a poem or don't talk about 'good'.
I didn't say I was one of the few.