Greatest omegle conversation I've ever had

Losm

Losm

Banana
Old School
Joined
May 9, 2009
Messages
241
Points
0
Warning: contains lots of awkward, weird and gross moments.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: Hi!
Stranger: hi.
Stranger: what's up.
You: You seem to have a very bored and monotone "voice"
Stranger: no, no
Stranger: i just start dry
You: I see
Stranger: it's kind of a defense.
Stranger: watch:
Stranger: SHAZAM!
You: Yay!
Stranger: okay maybe that was a little exaggerated.
Stranger: where from.
You: Oh, no
You: Not at all
You: Oh God
Stranger: BLAAAMO!
You: No asling, please
Stranger: zing!
You: Okay, settle down
Stranger: whew.
Stranger: we can settle.
Stranger: it's kind of late here, might explain why i'm dry mcgee
You: Late here too. O_O
Stranger: nice emoticon.
You: I get really hyper and weird when I'm tired
Stranger: i do the same sometimes
Stranger: go on a manic tear
Stranger: and start typing too much too fast
You: That's nice
Stranger: saying all kinds of weird ****.
Stranger: yeah it is to a point
Stranger: and then at some point it's like, huh what?
Stranger: you type fast which i appreciate.
You: :D
Stranger: {no pressure}
You: Blergh
You: Why would that add pressure?
Stranger: but if you're tired, then why are you up?
Stranger: to type faster.
Stranger: sometimes if i name it
You: Oh
Stranger: then i start flubbing.
You: WAT
Stranger: if i name that i type fast
Stranger: then i choke
You: Oh, and I'm up because I'm weird like that
You: Oh
Stranger: yeah, weird works well for me.
You: I see
Stranger: i mean i don't literally choke.
You: I know, I know
Stranger: you won't be responsible for my consumptive death.
Stranger: rest assured, great stranger of the webosphere.
Stranger: the problem with chat is that it only DISTRACTS from the void
Stranger: it doesn't fill it.
You: Oh God, I don't know what to say next
Stranger: asl?
Stranger: <== ha.
You: FUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Stranger: aww, come on.
You: No
Stranger: that's a lot of yous.
You: Just, just no
You: "U"s*
Stranger: i can guess anyway, more or less.
Stranger: i think you're about 25, f, and somewhere on the Eastern Seaboard or Midwest.
Stranger: which is all good.
Stranger: i don't care!
Stranger: you could be 47 m Wyoming
Stranger: it's just sort of nice to know.
Stranger: 25 is probably a stretch.
You: Oh God, you're so wrong
You: It's amazing. :eek:
Stranger: oh! you're 92 m China?
Stranger: that is sort of what I picture in my mind's eye when I ask.
You: Yeah... Sure...
Stranger: EXCELLENT
Stranger: you can guess mine too...
Stranger: probably with deadly accuracy.
You: 156, hermaphrodite, Russia?
Stranger: yes!
Stranger: i have both genitalia!
Stranger: it's pretty fun.
Stranger: and also very little practical media freedoms in my country.
Stranger: in addition I was born during the lead-up to the Ameircan Civil War
You: How sad. D:
Stranger: which provided great perspective when the Bolsheviks came.
Stranger: sweet times.
Stranger: no, don't cry for me!
You: *Sobs*
Stranger: having both genitalia just gives me more options about when and where i go to the bathroom.
Stranger: contrarian.
You: Wouldn't you look like a woman?
Stranger: well, sure.
Stranger: so you've got me there.
You: So wouldn't it be odd if they saw a woman going into the male washrooms
Stranger: i'm not really a hermaphrodite; i'm wearing a merkin
You: And pissing ina urinal?
Stranger: that would be a funny way to meet
Stranger: and i'd turn around and be like, "Asl?"
You: Fku, man, fku
Stranger: come on, my **** is funny.
Stranger: or at least funny-ish.
You: I can see that
You: :p
Stranger: funny like bad cheese.
Stranger: or spurled milk.
Stranger: i'm harmless, honest.
You: So am I.
Stranger: pinky swear?
You: But that "asl" thing gets annoying. >_<
You: Yessir
Stranger: i honestly do that on a certain level
You: I swear on my pinky
Stranger: to figure out if the person is over 18.
Stranger: which is important to me on some cosmic level.
Stranger: being far over 18.
Stranger: myself.
You: Mm
You: So if I were to tell you I was below the age of 18
You: What would you do?
Stranger: Well, I'd probably tell you how old I was
Stranger: and the conversation woudl end gracefully-ish.
You: Oh, how fun
Stranger: yeah, it's a real treat.
Stranger: suffice to say i'm looking for omegle 30+ but haven't found it yet.
You: Why would you want to find that?
You: Wouldn't it be filled with horny old men?
Stranger: booo
You: You know it's true
You: This is omegle, man
Stranger: why do you say that
Stranger: what you mean, every 30+ is horny, or everyone is?
You: No
You: But most people I meet on omegle are usually one of those horny, creepy types
You: Who say "asl"
You: All
You: The
You: Time
Stranger: yeah...
Stranger: i guess to me there is horny beyond repair
Stranger: like if you go on chatroulette it's the dudes with their junks out
Stranger: and then sort of, horny/human
You: Indeed
Stranger: which is sort of, i don't know a wider array of folks.
You: And then there're the trolls
Stranger: yes.
Stranger: and the wise-ass kids
Stranger: wise beyond their years
You: "wise"
Stranger: explaining to all the horny assed old dudes how horny they are.
 
You: Or
You: I dunno
Stranger: lonely, horny, such a thin line
You: Yeah...
Stranger: that's the problem of it.
Stranger: i think most people on here are lonely.
Stranger: just tricky to sort out the how and why.
Stranger: and that's my downer-quotient for the dya.
Stranger: day.
You: Wow
Stranger: i know
Stranger: a cheer basket for you
You: You've just opened my mind a lil'
Stranger: oh, nice.
Stranger: asl?
Stranger: :p
You: Still no
You: Grr
Stranger: fun to mess w/ you though.
Stranger: glad i could open your mind
Stranger: alongside provoking and disappointing you
You: I'm sure you're having a blast
You: Heh
You: :\
Stranger: yeah it's like Christmas every minute here
You: Full of awkward cheerfulness?
Stranger: yes
You: That's wonderful
Stranger: and a sense of longing for the morning that never actually did arrive
Stranger: after the night of infinite promise.
Stranger: everyone looks to the others with that keen brightness implied as a question in the corner of their eyes
Stranger: by noon or so, it's sunk in that some kid's toy is missing its batteries
Stranger: that half the gifts missed their marks entirely.
You: Good lord
Stranger: that was fun.
You: That sounds like the most depressing thing on Earth
Stranger: no.
You: The way you said it
Stranger: the most depressing thing on earth is that nuclear disaster in Japan.
Stranger: I might be the most depressing thing in New Jersey right now.
You: I've seen pictures
Stranger: of me? you poor thing.
You: *Stares blankly at the screen for a few seconds*
Stranger: yeah, I had some ****ed up Christmases.
Stranger: but they were fine.
You: *Snaps out of it*
Stranger: * Anxiously considers whether he has alienated his chat partner with obscure poetry *
You: Somewhat
Stranger: well
Stranger: It's more interesting than ASL
You: Very true
Stranger: although probbaly more depressing.
You: Again, true
Stranger: see?
Stranger: we sort of agree.
You: Oh, shush up, you. :p
Stranger: yes!
Stranger: i ranked a shush up.
Stranger: so what's your mood like.
You: Currently, or overall?
Stranger: we've established that i'm depressed.
Stranger: answer whatever your most interested in discussing
You: Currently, I'm confused and somewhat happy
Stranger: love will do that to you
Stranger: you're*
You: Usually, I'm happy-go-lucky, with occasional stressful moments
You: Sorry that took so long
You: I wasn't sure what to write
Stranger: write what you feel.
Stranger: I am generally mellow, but am having a shifting couple of years
Stranger: with more anxiety in there.
You: *Patiently awaits the stranger's message*
Stranger: ...
Stranger: i think i missed one in there.
Stranger: my mode is one where
Stranger: I should go to sleep
Stranger: but I'm just reaching out for connection
Stranger: out of some need to not feel ****ty and isolated.
You: Your life sounds so sad
Stranger: i have no excuse to feel that way...
Stranger: no!
You: Although, very poetic
Stranger: that's the crazy part!
Stranger: my life is actually on paper and in general going really well.
Stranger: i have literally no excuse to feel sad.
Stranger: i have a meaningful job, family, career is going decently
Stranger: just somehow, the past is hitting me.
Stranger: when i least expected it.
Stranger: watch out for that when you get older!
Stranger: memories get much more weight than you'd expect.
Stranger: like cortazar writes you end up Janus-faced
Stranger: half looking forward, half back.
You: So, let me get this straight: your childhood and/or your young adulthood wasn't the greatest.
You: Now, you're an adult, and things are going great
You: But the past has come back to haunt you
Stranger: it sounds cheezy or like something taken out of a novel
Stranger: but yeah -- pretty much.
You: Dang
You: Now, I'm kinda scared
You: 'Cause that's kind of my childhood
You: And now things are going better
Stranger: i guess the thing i'm starting to figure out is that you can't close those chapters without really healing.
Stranger: ***** i sound so cheezy.
Stranger: but I mean it!
You: Bah
You: Life is cheesy
Stranger: like, the priority is to escape.
Stranger: you have to escape from all the bull**** that dragged you down.
Stranger: but then you have to form into a whole person
Stranger: and you have to undo the damage that wherever you're from caused you.
Stranger: i'm actually getting there.
Stranger: well, i don't mean to step up as the ghost of christmas future up in this *****
Stranger: you'll do fine.
Stranger: i kind of have brought it on myself
You: Let's just hope none of that "repairing" involves going on a killing spree
Stranger: hahahaha
Stranger: no.
Stranger: maybe a serial flirting spree for me
Stranger: ... but killing... overrated
You: Overrated, eh?
Stranger: i mean
Stranger: uh...
Stranger: no, you know what i mean.
You: You've been caught red-handed!
Stranger: i actually have no channel for violence
You: Ha!
Stranger: which is part of my problem
You: Hmm
Stranger: i know, i know.
Stranger: like, i grew up in a violent scene...
Stranger: so as a result i became super gentle...
Stranger: in a certain way
You: Yeah, I just can't stand violence
Stranger: so instead of venting anger i sort of transmute it into something else.
Stranger: yeah but you need to process your anger effectively
Stranger: you can't just let it all build inside of you.
Stranger: and that's where i'm at
Stranger: chock full o' accidental darkness
Stranger: **** i hope you don't charge by the hour
You: I used to let it build up
You: Oh baby
You: You can have me the entire night
You: I won't mind
You: Okay, anyways
Stranger: um.
You: Back to srs bsns
Stranger: uhhh... um.
Stranger: ok.
You: I used to let it build up inside of me
You: And I'd explode with rage and anger, usually in my room
You: So everyone would be safe
Stranger: yes.
Stranger: but then the past just reverberates inside you...
Stranger: unless you can really explode.
You: I didn't want anyone hurt, not even in my fits of uncontrollable rage
Stranger: right.
You: Left
Stranger: because that would be to give up to it.
Stranger: platonic.
You: Mm
You: Later on in life, I learned to just let go
Stranger: how? i'm trying to
Stranger: but the past keeps sneaking up with a frying pan.
You: Nothing was bad enough that I'd need to hold a grudge over it
Stranger: to smack me on the back of the head.
You: I'm not sure how, exactly
You: I just learned to let go
You: And to not care
Stranger: and to stop charging by the hour.
You: :p
Stranger: my gain.
Stranger: um -- i still care.
Stranger: i got over the past for a while, then somehow the relationships became primary again
Stranger: moved back closer to my folks
Stranger: got back involved in their **** etc
Stranger: stopped drinking (huge mistake)
You: Oh no
Stranger: yeah!
Stranger: it's like giving up sex only worse.
Stranger: no, it's not
You: Starting to drink is a huge mistake
Stranger: i take that back
You: You better
Stranger: yeah, especially when you have hugely alcoholic relatives and you didn't realize
Stranger: i know...
Stranger: sex is far to important
Stranger: too*
Stranger: but all that is to say, it was keeping me mellow and now it's not
Stranger: on the other hand my reflexes are better.
You: Hooray for needing to fix our grammar mistakes!
Stranger: my memory is better.
Stranger: yeah!
Stranger: i definitely pegged you wrong, and then again.
Stranger: i'm glad i can have you all night.
You: :3
You: Urr, wait, do you mean your memory and reflexes are better due to alcohol?
Stranger: no!
You: Or just the opposite?
Stranger: right--
Stranger: because i stopped.
Stranger: those are the pros.
You: I thought you got back into it
Stranger: the cons are i was self-medicated with it and haven't found a good new medicine.
Stranger: no, it's been 2 years
You: I'm so confused!
Stranger: i'm saying it was a mistake!
Stranger: not really
Stranger: i just mean, it made me more depressed to stop in a certain way
You: Oh
Stranger: made things more complicated
Stranger: or made me more aware of their complication.
Stranger: i was on a bad road but i was happier...
Stranger: anywya.
Stranger: anyway.
Stranger: *
Stranger: actually that's how i say it
Stranger: any-wy-a
You: 'Course
Stranger: i also like that you called me baby above.
Stranger: just for the record.
You: Meh
Stranger: whatever.
Stranger: this is fun-ish.
You: Haha
You: Let's try to make it fun
Stranger: how.
You: And dump that gosh darn "ish"
Stranger: names.
You: I'm not sure
Stranger: I'm Ben.
You: I'm still not telling you :|
Stranger: it's sort of there!
Stranger: whether you told me or not.
You: It starts with an "O"
Stranger: O.
You: That's all you're getting
Stranger: Olive?
You: Uhm...
Stranger: I'll take it O.
Stranger: ?
You: Yeah, my parents gave me a one-letter name
Stranger: After a very sexy tic-tac-toe bout.
You: *Rolls eyes, smirking*
Stranger: *tries to rein in flirt instinct*
Stranger: *puts clothes back on*
You: *Runs away in fear*
Stranger: *palms Mace nervously*
Stranger: ha.
You: *Wonders if Ben even mentioned taking his clothes off in the chat*
You: *Shudders*
Stranger: no, no.
Stranger: my clothes were never in question.
Stranger: my idea of a fun joke.
Stranger: haha.
 
Stranger: i have very open windows, if i take off my clothes, i'm undressing in front of very snobby neighbors
Stranger: they would laugh at me.
You: No drapes?
Stranger: not in this room.
Stranger: it just makes the light nice.
You: Mm
Stranger: but prevents that organic Omegle nudity we all know and love.
Stranger: really puts a cramp in my ChatRoulette theatrics.
You: Awkward.
Stranger: yes.
Stranger: but you knew that about me already.
You: Yuppers
Stranger: I appreciate your disciplined stance on Omegle gender dynamics, O.
Stranger: Is your name Omegle?
You: Ha, good guess
You: But no
You: :p
Stranger: Obamacare?
You: Nossirrybob
Stranger: Oliver Sachs
You: Err
Stranger: Olivia Tremor Control?
You: That's certainly an odd name
Stranger: band name.
Stranger: but Olivia?
You: Nope
Stranger: Olma
You: No, sir
Stranger: Otto
You: I speak french
Stranger: Oui Oui?
You: Please don't
Stranger: no no
Stranger: I'm making up a name for you
You: Oh
You: Gosh darnit
Stranger: Orange (pronounced O-rannge)
Stranger: Ouise Attaque?
You: No and no
Stranger: um.
Stranger: good thing i do have you all night.
You: Oh God.
Stranger: Oh, Odette?
You: Nope
Stranger: Orgasmia
You: That's just terrible
Stranger: you're too fun to torture.
Stranger: Oceanagraphique?
You: Seriously?
Stranger: No.
You: That's not even a name. :p
Stranger: I don't know.
Stranger: I give up. You win.
You: You came close not long ago
Stranger: Olive?
Stranger: Olivie?
You: *Waits for more names*
Stranger: you'll wait a while.
Stranger: I give up although I am having fun
You: :]
Stranger: is your name Le Baron?
Stranger: like the Parisian hipster club?
Stranger: i sort of feel like i don't stand a chance with you.
You: Ew, hipsters
Stranger: yeah, I know.
You: Hipsters are too mainstream for me
Stranger: what do you prefer?
You: Out of what?
Stranger: your men
You: I don't get it
Stranger: no -- i mean
Stranger: what do you prefer to hipsters?
Stranger: mods?
You: Mods? What?
Stranger: mods like mods vs. rockers
Stranger: sorry i'm getting loopy.
You: Still don't get it
You: o_O
You: And yeah, me too
Stranger: is o_O your name?
You: I'm starting to say all kinds of nonsense
You: No..
Stranger: O Henry?
Stranger: Give me another clue.
Stranger: nonsense time is where it gets good.
You: I certainly hope so
Stranger: ha.
You: As it's already going pretty good right now
You: So even better is great!
Stranger: :)
Stranger: optimist.
You: 7 letters
You: Oooh, lucky
You: :D
Stranger: lol.
Stranger: olivette
You: No
Stranger: 8
Stranger: obenhi!?
Stranger: OU812__
You: Hooray for typing random letters after "o"!
Stranger: O- Ben Hi!
Stranger: O, u 8 1 2?
You: Wow
You: Good job
You: *Applauds*
Stranger: Orianne?
You: No
Stranger: I give up.
You: Ha
Stranger: and thank you.
Stranger: you are definitely making me re-think asl.
You: Rawr
Stranger: so cute.
Stranger: my flirt excuse is.. 1am
You: 2am
Stranger: newfie?
Stranger: halifax.
You: Newfoundland would be 2:30
You: Gosh
Stranger: i have some newfie blood.
Stranger: got it?
You: Yessir
Stranger: wow you're controlled for 2 an
Stranger: am
Stranger: i'm babbling and you still won' t tell me your name
You: Hehe
Stranger: Halifax huh.
Stranger: {undressed again}
Stranger: {not}
You: Who said anything about Halifax? o_O
You: You know, there's more to the atlantic side of North America than Newfoundland and Halifax
Stranger: hmm is there now.
You: Indeed, there is
Stranger: do you live in Lake Massauwippi?
You: In?
Stranger: On.
You: Like a sea creature?
You: Yes
Stranger: you could be some type of fresh water mermaid
Stranger: my omegle fantasy
You: :}
Stranger: don't encourage me.
Stranger: i'm on a thin line of respectability
You: What does that mean?
You: You barely respect me? D:
Stranger: yeah, no.
Stranger: ha. you give as good as you get
Stranger: or better.
You: I respect you. D:
Stranger: i respect you :eek:
Stranger: but I also want you
You: :3
You: Wait
You: What
You: No!
Stranger: lol
You: Ew
Stranger: what...
Stranger: aww, come on.
You: Too far, man
You: *Covers up*
Stranger: covers up what.
Stranger: ha.
Stranger: i'm not too far.
Stranger: maybe slightly.
Stranger: **** man, it's late.
You: Yessir
Stranger: really, Ew?
You: Not that I don't like you or anything
You: Just... Not that way
Stranger: ha!
Stranger: classic.
You: So is your life story
You: :}
Stranger: so is your anti-game game, which is kind of cool.
Stranger: or at the very least, effective.
You: Dun dun duhh
Stranger: i'm going to bed before i embarass myself further!
You: Nooo!
Stranger: ...
You: We must talk for another hour or so!
Stranger: I think I was looking with too flirt a lens
Stranger: by then I really would be naked.
You: That's... Nice. o_O
Stranger: nice how.
You: I dunno
Stranger: freeze up much?
You: I just wanted to get the chat going again
Stranger: :)
You: :D
Stranger: so you said it was nice I'd be naked?
Stranger: funny.
You: No, no, no, no, no
You: Don't get any wrong ideas there, mister. >_>
Stranger: i live by wrong idead, ms.
Stranger: ideas*
Stranger: fairwell, cool one.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 
If anyone actually reads the whole thing, then hats off to you.

The entire conversation took over an hour... I think. It was really fun either way.

Long live the mysterious Ben!
 
Last edited:
*pats self on back*

I read it all, this cleaning up my piss.

Sounds like epic fun
 
nobartholem said:
*pats self on back*

I read it all, this cleaning up my piss.

Sounds like epic fun
Click to expand...

*Claps* I'm proud of you. ^_^

Oh, it was. I was ready to keep going for another hour.

...

I miss him already. D:
 
Last edited by a moderator:
That wasn't entertaining at all. -1 for being too long. -1 for being to wordy. -9000 for being too intellectual for me.

Just kidding I totally understood everything. ;)
 
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