168 year old black man

[nobartholem]

Stranger: I like porn

You: me too

Stranger: Oops i meant corn

You: i actually made a **** o once

Stranger: Not porn

Stranger: With what?

Stranger: Barbie dolls?

You: no

You: here

You: ill show u

Stranger: I dont want to see

You: http://www.redtube.com/38013

You: thats my *****

Stranger: I am on my ipod!

You: it's 18 inches

You: and erect its like 24

You: 2 foot *****, ubetcha

Stranger: Oh, like a snake

You: no, a big black ****

Stranger: Thats why you like snakes

Stranger: Because your gay

You: mmhm

You: justin bieber has a *****

Stranger: So you call me a ****** and youre black?

You: mmhm

You: thats how it works

You: i can say whatever i want cuz im black

Stranger: No it doesnt

Stranger: You cannot

Stranger: Don call me wigger

Stranger: Im proud to be white

You: i picked your ****ing cotton for 100 years so i can say whatever i want

You: WIGGER

Stranger: You did no such thing

You: my daddy did

Stranger: You have not touched real cotton

Stranger: So your dad has privledges

You: ****** im 168 years old, dont u talk to me like that

Stranger: Not you

Stranger: Im white

Stranger: Not really white

You: i was born in 1843, so dont u tell me i aint never picked cotton

Stranger: Dont you talk to me like that

Stranger: Terrible grammar

You: im 1843! i didnt learn to read till 1994

You: i learned to read when i was ****ing 151 years old *****!!

You: gimme some time to learn grammar!

Stranger: Why did you learn it then?

You: i had a job

You: as a guest lecturer

Stranger: Picking cotton?

Stranger: Oh lecturing about cotton

You: in december 1994

Stranger: And how to pick it

You: no, it was a history class

You: american history was doin a thing on the civil war

You: so they got a ****** who was there

You: and that ****** was me

Stranger: Did they refer to you as ******?

You: no, i do though

Stranger: Why?

You: cuz i am

Stranger: You are what?

You: people dun call me ****** for the first 120 years of my life.

You: so imma ******

You: maybe when im 240 ill go to bein african american

Stranger: Oh my, get over yourself

You: but until then

You: hardcore ******, ******

Stranger: Hq

Stranger: Ha*

Stranger: What is your slave name?

You: emmitt smith

Stranger: Ooh i like it

Stranger: Very impersonal

You: i remember when i was in the NFL

You: those were good years

Stranger: You werent in the nfl

You: http://www.terryellison.me/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/EmmittSmith-1-lg.jpg

You: ***** thats me

Stranger: Nu-uh

You: mmhm

Stranger: I dont believe you

You: u better

You: my moma told me in 1852

Stranger: Why? You gonna slap a *****?

You: "dont lie never or u just a dumb ****** like the rest of us"

You: i was 9 years old, but i remember it like it was yesterday

Stranger: You dont lie?

You: nope

You: never

Stranger: So you are really 100 some years old?

You: mmhm

You: born 1843

Stranger: Okay

You: 168 years old

Stranger: I call "bull****"

You: i call naynay

Stranger: About everything you have said

Stranger: I think you are a 13 year old white girl

You: Im a 168 year old black male

Stranger: Sitting in your room prayong

Stranger: Paying*

Stranger: Praying*

You: no

You: i cant get on my knees

You: they got chopped off when i served in vietnam

Stranger: Oh my

Stranger: How do you suck **** then?

You: i dont

You: i told you

You: i gotta girlfriend

You: my first wife died.

You: my second wife died

You: my third wife died

You: my fourth wife died

You: so i said **** it

You: imma just get a girlfriend i wont be attatched to

You: so i found a stripper in some sleezy bar in detroit

Stranger: Doubt it

You: i dont, i lived this ****, *****

Stranger: You are approx. 15 years old

You: im 11 times older than that.

You: im 168 *****

Stranger: In your mamas house

Stranger: Doing homework

Stranger: Nerd

You: im in the same damn slave shack i been in since 1843 u dumb *****

You: how dare u treat yo elders like that

You: i outta murder your dumb ass

You: and steal ur bike

Stranger: I like elders

You: http://weeaboo.com/src/366.gif

You: i steal ur bike

Stranger: I dont have a bike

Stranger: I own a car

You: cuz i stole it u dumbass

Stranger: Like rich white peole do

Stranger: Why a bike?

You: my prosthetics dont let me drive a car

Stranger: Bull

You: im 168, u think i can get away fast enough with a car?

You: u a dumbass

Stranger: You can get it rigged

You: i drive 5 miles an hour

You: i have prosthetics

You: this is 2011.

Stranger: So you can petal a bike. But not press the gas pedal

Stranger: ?

You: yes

You: its the muscles involed

Stranger: You really thoughtthat through

You: i dont have any muscles in my ankle

You: to press the gas

You: cuz it's plasstic

You: but i can move my knees in a circle to peddle a bike

You: so yes, i did

You: I AINT AS DUMB AS I LOOK *****

Stranger: You have to move your ankels

Stranger: To pedal a bike

You: no you dont

You: u wouldnt know

Stranger: Dumbass

You: cuz u dont got a bike

You: dumbass

Stranger: Yes you do

Stranger: I have a bike

You: no u dont

You: i stole it *****

Stranger: Yes i do

Stranger: Its in my garage

Stranger: Hangin on the wall

You: no

You: ur mommas hanging on the wal

You: i lynched her for bein a racist *****

You: and i stole u bike

Stranger: Thats mean

Stranger: My mom died

Stranger: Yesterday

Stranger: Cancer

You: i dont care

You: shes a lil racist *****

You: she an rot in hell with the jews.

Stranger: Jews werent racist

You: no

You: but they dont believe in the good christian god

You: and they didnt accept jesus

You: so they burn

Stranger: Neither do you

Stranger: Dumbass, jesus was jewish!

You: yea

You: but he accepted himself

You: cuz he wasnt emo

Stranger: Whatevs

You: i win

Stranger: No

Stranger: Never

You: http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_VEFwWvYzl...A-Q/PAZHkAOe5dI/s1600/black_cock_poster00.jpg

You: MY COCK IS GIANT

Stranger: Thay was just too dumb to respond to

Stranger: My ****** is huge

Stranger: No pic for that

Stranger: Im just a whore

You: hmm

You: okay

You: well that's my big black cock

Stranger: Ha

Stranger: Left you speechless

Stranger:

You: my girlfriend says i cant talk about other women's ******s

You: especially not my ex's or my cousin's

Stranger: Hunny, blow up dolls cant talk

Stranger: And hookers shouldnt

Stranger: They arent being payed to talk

You: so why u is talkin

You: cuz u aint getting payed

You: i will give u 5 dollars to shut the **** up

Stranger: Im white and rich

You: im black and old

Stranger: Five dollars is nothing

You: 5 dollars is a **** ton

Stranger: Like q penny on the street

You: in 1843 5 dollars woulda bought u a house

You: now, not even a cheap whore

Stranger: Maybe a starving whore

Stranger: Who wanted a burger

You: id just fill her up with my semen

Stranger: You might get head for it

Stranger: Sexy

You: for dinner, triple whopper. to drink, another triple whopper

Stranger: Thats more than five dollars

You: nope

You: not a meal

You: im a *****

Stranger: Yes

You: just a sammich

Stranger: Two meals?

You: no

You: just a sammich

Stranger: Shush

You: 1 sandwich

You: and then to drink

Stranger: Im sick of talking like this

You: would be a trple whopper, but the other triplle whopper is my *****

Stranger: Its tiring

You: why? cant take all 24 inches of my *****?

You: im black you know

Stranger: No, i can tKe that

Stranger: Its just that your lack of knowledge of the mcdonalds menu pans me

Stranger: Pain*

You: that is burger king

Stranger: Ha

You: im black, i eat fast food *****

You: aint got no money

Stranger: Thats funny

You: so are jokes

Stranger: I eat there too

Stranger: So i must be black

You: except u can afford a meal

Stranger: Cool

Stranger: Now i can call everyone *****

Stranger: Cause i apparently picked cotton

You: no

You: i did

You: ***** u aint 168

Stranger: I cant afford

Stranger: Anything

Stranger: Im poor

You: u said u were rich and white 5 times

Stranger: Like black person poor

Stranger: Im balck

Stranger: And mexican

You: no u arent

You: u said u were rich and white

You: u lier

You: im outta hurrz

You have disconnected.

 

[Untold]

WHAT the ****

 

[Phantom]

I can officially say..

TL;DR

 

[Losm]

I can officially say..

TL;DR

Okay.

You: I'm a 168 year-old black man who picked cotton when I was young and didn't learn to spell until recently. Fear my huge penis.
Stranger: No, you're not. I know 'cause I'm a rich white person.
You: Yes, I am! I also eat at Burger King and have a hooker for a girlfriend.
Stranger: Oh yeah? Well, I also eat at Burger King, so that makes me a black Mexican!
You: You're a lier. I'm leaving.

 

[a retard]

Okay.

Thanks losm!

 

[darkgrim13]

That was hysterical. Did you do that yourself, or did you find it?

 

[Zaven]

I think I just got dumber reading this

 

[LifeStyle]

Well I had a corner smile reading this.

 

[nobartholem]

That was hysterical. Did you do that yourself, or did you find it?

I did that. LOL

XDD

 

[The Mactator]

lol? kinda funny/stupid.